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Welcome
to
*CATLINES*
the MEWsletter!
For cat-loving Home Business
PURRSons:
Home business workers desiring to share what they
know.
---------------------
NEW!
MY KITTY
BLOG:
http://mycatablog.blogspot.com~~~~~~~
A Place To Rethink:
NEW!
http://www.anotherwaytoday.comCorresponding blog:
http://www.anotherwaytoday.blogspot.com~~~~~~~
Brand NEW!
SCENTLINES
for
candle-loving home-business persons!
http://www.radiantsoy.comhttp://www.candlesaglow.biz(soy/veg candles, bath and body products; new, great
company!)
--------------------
Remember to Help the feline
population by adopting or fostering
stray, hungry, frightened
cats!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
New entries on our website; come check
them out!
Something there just for you!
http://www.catliness.com(We have animal-theme jewelry, Kitty Toys and dishes there
for
you!)
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
EBAY; we finally made it!
Bid now! Bid Often!
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/meowheart/.
*******
>^..^< >^..^< >^..^<
>^..^<
*CATLINES*
vol. 3, Issue 10, December 15,
2004
Published monthly (most of the time) by
http://www.catliness.com(in nine lives of progress)
WINNER OF THE GOLDEN
WHISKERS AWARD
http://www.meowhoo.comhosted
by Katherine Cook at:
http://www.katstorm.com=====================
Editor: Lauren
Merryfield
=======>^..^<=====
Treats For
December
(Note: copy the links into your browser to make them
work;
music and great verses you don't want to
miss!)
*******
Jingle Bell Rock
Candy Cane Lane
Blue
Christmas
http://www.mamarocks.com/mamas_links18.htm********
Subject: The Hanukkah Story
Hanukkah
begins on Wednesday. Here's a small piece of the story
of how and why it all
came about.
http://www.poofcat.com/hanukkah.html*******
If I Were Santa
Happy Chanukah
I Love
Christmas
http://www.mamarocks.com/mamas_links42.htm*******
Got this today from Dr W from Omaha. I
experienced it as
Beautiful, and thought you would like it too.
Love
and Light, Marilyn
http://www.promiseofgod.com/teach*******
O Kitty Tree
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7892/87518/6351/538485012 days of Holiday Inspiration
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7878/87390/6337/5384850Virtual Gift from Heaven
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7878/87389/6337/5384850Harmony Christmas Mice!
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7878/87388/6337/5384850I Believe in Miracles
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7878/87387/6337/5384850The Hidden Kingdom
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7878/87391/6337/5384850*******
8 Days of Chanukah Kisses!!
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7854/87177/6313/5384850Itsy Bitsy Chanukah!
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7854/87179/6313/5384850Gifts from the Heart
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7854/87178/6313/5384850Jesus is the reason!
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7854/87176/6313/5384850May You Experience Love
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7854/87175/6313/5384850*******
Little Holiday Angel
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7845/87103/6304/5384850Thank You for Loving Me
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7845/87102/6304/5384850Wishing You A Happy Kwanzaa
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7845/87104/6304/5384850Merry Little Christmas Note
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7845/87105/6304/5384850Someone Special
http://fun.feelgoodpages.com/redir.cfm/7845/87101/6304/5384850*******
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a
wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no
longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling
themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the
union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much
propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal
employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just
reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4
pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from
his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had
started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their
roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite
frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And
to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over
unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the
nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the
reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this
life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from
now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a
notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of
leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for
her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing
to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just
girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender
specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or
sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a
truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie,
better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who
claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no
football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to
dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo
would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled,
perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be
merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word
today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully
acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he
might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that
would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every
religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even
you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your
loved ones enjoy peace on earth.
--author unknown
*******
A
Christmas Prayer
A Time To Rejoice
http://www.mamarocks.com/mamas_links40.htm*******
*******
(Every day is hug your cat
day!)
*******
=====================
>From my friend,
Chris L. She sells everything!
http://tishtreasure.zoovy.com=====================
CATTICAL MEWSIC!
It's the cat's
meow!
as one album owner wrote:
"... is bright, fresh and irresistible.
It's catnip for the
ears."
To learn more about the Symphonia Felina
album and Forestdale
album, (available online only) and ClydeSight
2.0!, visit the
Forestdale Music Album Web Site for playing
samples:
http://www.clydesight.com/forestdale/samp.htmlTim Thompson
ClydeSight Productions
C.H.U. (Clyde's
Human Unit)
Clyde Big Paws, Feline Unit
236.8v2
1990-1997
"Clyde Big Paws--Keeping the Memory
Alive"
Visit ClydeSight2.0! the website of Clyde the Cat at:
http://www.clydesight.comand
Clyde's mewsical extraveganza, Concert at CLAW
http://claw.org/theater/clydeconc/startpg.shtml=====================
_____________________
If
you are receiving this newsletter, either you
subscribed recently or received
a copy from a friend.
Thank you for joining and accepting our catly
ezine,
ads and other notices from
catliness.com!
_____________________
To do the uncatly thing, send
an email to:
mailto:infoRus@catliness.comwith unsubscribe in the subject.
Thanks.
And if you do
it--you just may have Jaspur Jaws to
answer to,
lol.
_____________________
>^..^< >^..^< >^..^<
>^..^<
(4 kitty heads, representing Jaspur, Mikey, Gabrielle and
Maryah,
suPURRvisors and helPURRs in these adventures into
catliness.)
=====================
>^..^< >^..^<
>^..^< >^..^<
And now! ... 4 cats present...
*
CATLINES *
=====================
Table of contents:
1:
Kibble Nibble: mewsings from the food bowl (editorial)
2: Kitten
Kabootle's Kubbyhole (catly writings)
(in loving memory of Kitten Kabootle,
now living at Rainbow
Bridge)
3: biz-catskills (home-business,
motivational or general biz
articles)
4: look what the cats dragged in
(jokes, quotes, very brief
verse)
5: from Outside the catbox
(questions, comments from readers)
6: subscription info and other
strays
=====================
Weekly Drawing - Win a FREE Gourmet
Soy Candle
16 oz and yummy to the bottom of the jar!
Enter up to once a
day at -
http://www.candlesaglow.biz"When all candles be out, all cats be gray."
--John
Heywood
=====================
1: Kibble Nibble: mewsings from the
food bowl (editorial)
Happy Holidays, cat-lovers and home-business
PURRsons!
We moved Friday, December 3rd, and are selling our mobile
home.
Our first month's rent is free, but from January on, we'll be
paying
on both places. Sure hope someone buys our little home in
the woods so
they can love it, too.
Being somewhat stretched for time, I am copying
portions a note I
sent to a friend of ours. This will CATchyou
up.
12/17/04
The vandalism of which I write is this:
Less
than a day and a half after we moved in, Jim temporarily
parked in someone's
parking spot because it was way closer to the
building and thus easier for
us.
We have asked the management for weeks for them to give Jim
a
disabled-friendly parking place that would be safer for him and
closer
to the building. They say Curtis is working on it; how
many weeks does
it take for them to ask someone if they'd be
willing to trade???
When
we got back into the car the windshield wipers were bent and
our radio
antenna broken off, lying on the ground, next to the
car.
Then Monday
evening we'd been back at the old house, bagging and
boxing stuff and when we
came back, the live, baby Christmas tree
we'd gotten was gone!
We had
placed it on the table of our wooden glider which is right
outside our
door. Management thinks it was Mariner High School
kids who
occasionally sneak over here to smoke in the stair well
and run up and down
the halls. A woman who also lives in our
building, had her doormat
stolen the same evening.
Jim had decorated it (the tree) while I was
sleeping, to surprise
me. The only way I saw it at all was that I just
happened to
sneak out in the middle of the night before, while Jaspur,
the
outdoor wannabe cat, was asleep. Otherwise, I would not
have
touched Jim's handiwork. Some do not understand that this
was
more important to me, given the fact that Jim could be gone
forever
any time, given all of his medical conditions. So this
perhaps makes
some things more special.
On the other hand, his seeming to be getting
weaker, when I might
be getting stronger, is definitely causing some
difficulties for
me, unresolved.
Hi,
No, nothing bad has
happened since last week. We got another
tree but it is hiding on the
floor where people can't see it,
though I can smell it when I am out
there. We haven't decorated
it yet.
We are not sure whether it
would be stupid to put it back on the
glider table as the other one was or
how we could enjoy it in
here without the cats getting to it.
We've
been here two weeks and Jim just now finally showed me how
to do the moldy
wash. The machines are easier than those we had
in the house.
They are knobs with tactile pointers, which I wish
all appliances had.
(When we looked at new ones, some were just
LED or LCD displays and not much
I could tell.) On ours at the
house, we put pieces of stuff so I had
home-made pointers but
they were not very reliable and didn't last long when
wet. But
why did I have to wait for two weeks with damp, smelly clothes
in
there for someone (husband) to take five minutes or less to show
me how
to run it?
Then, this is the weirdest thing I've ever heard of:
Jim
got a gift from his company, and it's rather heavy, he says,
and it is a game
board of some kind, but he didn't bring it up
here so I can see it. I
am such a terribly curious person that I
just cannot relate to having been
given a new gift and not
looking at it and not giving me an opportunity to
see it.
Then, and this is the most strange, he went all the way out
to
the UPS place to get a pkg that they didn't leave today and it as
my
candle of the month that I've been waiting for and I guess I
have to wait
some more! He didn't bring it up. I know that this
month's
fragrance is called "slate and stone" and supposedly a
"men's fragrance," but
I am so curious!!
I realize that waiting until tomorrow when we go over
to the
house again, isn't life or death, but I do not know how Jim is
so
able to just detach from me, my curiosity, our life. It seems
to
me that his job is all that really matters to him. I am glad
he
has one and I admire his dedication to it, but I sure would
like equal
consideration, if not being somewhat of a priority.
Thing is, I know he's
not well and he's tired but if he'd told me
this stuff earlier, I could have
gone down to get one or the
other of them, though I'm not dressed, but I
could put my coat on
and zip it--I can do that now yea!
To get the car
key from him now I'd have to wake him up. I do not
know where my car key has
gotten off to; he probably has it in a
drawer or box somewhere. Maybe
tomorrow I could have him make me
a new car key??? Can one do that at
these key places? (He did
finally, after two weeks, make a new apt key
for me so we could
give our kitty-sitter an extra one for when we're out of
town.)
Anyway, I feel really frustrated because our Friday evenings
are
dead nothing now because he's so tired and I am wanting to
do
something more like I used to and wait until the weekend and I
just
feel frustrated!
Otherwise, the place is too full of our junk but no one
has
bothered us for a few days. And, of course, the neighbors
have
not tried very hard to get to know us because they're afraid
of
me. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I got a big tatoo
on
my forehead that would say something to let people know I am not
as
(whatever negative they are expecting) as they think. I get
tired of
people being afraid of me. I mean, there are people in
the world they
should be afraid of, but I am not one of those.
I also have gotten really
confused about giving, well, either I
have gotten confused or my family
members are getting nutso about
it; (in the name of religious principles) not
sure which.
Mom wrote saying not to give them anything this year because
they
are old and don't need anything and have too much and can't keep
it
when they're gone anyway etc.
She also said they didn't have enough money
to give so Mom, with
my daughter, my sister and my niece, all discussed
drawing names.
Notice they didn't ask me. Maybe they already know that
I do
not believe in not giving, whether it is materially or
otherwise.
That's part of why I email people stuff they probably don't
even
want; because I like to share.
Drawing names is certainly
economical and would be easier (more
convenient) and less expensive but it
also seems to me to have a
selfish, withholding component to it.
I
start early on getting presents for people. I often make
things for
people; both of which cuts down on price, effort and
time. So when the
holidays come I just have the franticness of
finding what I've gotten for
people and getting them wrapped and
sent out. But, budget-wise, it does
not smack us in the credit
card.
Anyway, the NE contingent keeps going
on about how poor they are;
how too busy they are; and this includes my
daughter, who just
started a job Monday the 13th. I do realize
she is financially
strapped, (like many of us) however, it is my opinion,
that this
is not a reason not to give, in some way!
I've told her, (my
daughter) my parents, my sister and my niece
they could work at home but they
absolutely disdain that kind of
scammy stuff, including selling stuff on
eBay, which I have done
in a totally nonscammy way, but they refuse to
respect this or
any other option.
It's like they are bound and
determined to be bound to determined
old ways of doing things.
When
they all discussed this name-drawing scheme, I just did my
usual. So
they are individually getting gifts from us, though I
did put more than one
thing in some pkgs, so it might not cost as
much to
send--maybe?????????
I think that when people go on about how poor they
are; how too
busy they are (doing what I don't know) or how tired they
are
(even though I can relate) I feel as if energy is being leeched
out of
me, or out of the universe.
No, I do not believe Christmas, or whatever
one wants to call the
holiday season, need be as commercial as it is, in the
way it has
become, however, I don't go on and on like some in my family
do
about how Christmas is only for children; gifts are too
material and not
necessary; lights and sparkle are unChristian
and even Christmas trees are
pagan and on and on.
I loved the bright lights and sparkle when I could
see them for
the first 28 years of my life; I like remembering them as
an
adult and I'd rather not be cut off from them still being around.
I
don't want to go around just wearing gray or black clothing,
either.
(Mom commented once that people who wear "gaudy, loud
colors" are just
attracting attention to themselves.)
Last night when we went on the
holiday cruise on Lake WA, people
were ooing and ahhing about all the pretty
boats and lights and
Jim wasn't describing them so some woman started to tell
me more
and I was so glad! I still want to know! I don't want to
be cut
off.
I'm sure some members of my family would chalk all of that
off
as totally wasteful extravagance.
Yet I see creativity and beauty
in it all and I don't even
physically see it. The artist in me
appreciates the holiday
spectacular and sees it as okay.
Yeah, I know;
all those homeless people who are not being
regarded...I know.
I feel
like our family's considering drawing names or stopping
altogether on gift
exchange is another way of cutting off. And
name-drawing could be okay
if I got someone I knew well enough to
know what he/she liked, but what if I
found something some other
family member would like earlier in the year,
would I buy it or
not, because they'd probably not draw names until near
holiday
time??? Or would we just give money, like Mom and Dad
do
now???(That's fine for them; just don't want to be forced into
doing
the same.)
My gut feeling is that those same members of my family
and
friends who voted for "more of the same" economic collapse
are
depressed. I think they selfishly do not want to bother to lift
a
finger to do anything for someone else. They don't seem to
realize
that doing something outside of oneself is one nonmedical
antidote to
depression--if anyone oughta know, it would be me!
So I feel bah-humbug
about their trying to force their bah-humbug
on me!
Then our car being
vandalized and our tree stolen when we were
only here for a week and a half
were pretty bah-humbuggy, too,
but I didn't want whoever that was forcing
their bah-humbug on me
either!
I do not want to spend the rest of my
life with others bringing
me down or me bringing myself down.
I get
sick of it sometimes!
Now that we got the rest of our stuff, I can't even
work on
putting certain boxes and bags in certain areas of the apt
because
those areas are now blocked off by boxes that are
unlabeled. I labeled
the ones I packed in braille but Jim just
didn't label the ones he did or the
packers did.
So I feel stopped in my tracks again. And it's too
late in the
evening to go over to the pool or I just might do
that!
Sometimes I feel that if there's a next life, I hope not to
go
through it like this again. If there is more than one life,
I
wonder if there are any better worlds I could spend the next one?
I just
don't really belong to this one. Except with my kitties,
who are
frustrated, too, by the new paths, sleeping areas, etc,
they were trying to
create being mercilessly ruined when the rest
of our stuff came and the
movers just dumped it everywhere.
I hope the rest of you are well and
happy this season, however,
if you feel frustrated, I certainly do
understand!
Enjoy this month's CATLINES! Please be sure to invite
your
cat-loving friends to join us, too. Thanks.
And check out
those candles! They make great gifts, great
fundraisers, and
more!
Lauren Merryfield
@@@@@@@
~~~~~~~
ATTENTION
ADVERTISERS:
Beginning with the March, 2004 Issue:
Advertise In
Catlines Newsletter
We offer two forms of advertising to our subscribers.
Solo ads
and feature ads.
(See catliness.com for
directions)
*******
Please remember the free ad board for
placement of your free
ads--read
below.
---------------------
Catly Resources:
(I do not make
any money on these)
Association For Pet Loss And
Bereavement:
http://www.aplb.org*******
Cat Collectors' Site:
(NOTICE: brand new
address):
http://p075.ezboard.com/binternationalcatcollectorsclub*******
Cat-writers' site:
http://www.catwriters.org*********************
For the very best litter, check out the
following:
http://www.worldsbestcatlitter.com*********************
For help with excessive scratching/clawing:
(too late for our
couch)
http://www.stickypaws.com
)
*********************
=====================
Paid
ads:
http://www.catliness.comand
free ads at:
http://www.freeadboard.com/?pro=470=====================
2: Kitten Kabootle's Kubbyhole (catly
writings)
* * * * * * * * * *
The following was verbally expressed
to your editor:
Ma-row!
I am Maryah, the tuxedo kitty almost given up
on due to my being
such a skittish feral cat. I wanted to wish you
Meowy CATmas,
and Happy MEW Year!
We kitties had a scary thing
happen. Our humans moved and took
Jaspur and Mikey with them.
Gabrielle and I hid so we had the
whole place to ourselves. Now we
could party!
But then we got lonesome. We didn't like it that the
guys went
and we didn't, though we knew it was because we hid when
the
humans wanted us in our carriers. Surely they didn't
just
abandon us here, just because we were scaredy-cats. That
didn't
make sense.
Our mom human, for months, had petted me and
talked to me to
help me calm down. Jaspur, the eldest cat, scolded me
whenever I
did anything too wild, especially when it involved claws
and
teeth.
So why were we left at the old house now?
>From
party to punishment, Gabbie and I huddled in a closet,
having eaten and drunk
the food and water they'd left for us.
Gabbie and I wondered if we'd be
put back into the wild or in
some bad human's home or what. We clung to
each other behind a
bag of mom human's clothes.
The next day, here
they were, but still they didn't take us, so
we remained hidden. They
checked on us; we meowed hello but they
went on bagging and boxing and
leaving the old home even more
forlorn.
Gabbie and I hung our heads in
sadness as they left us once more.
Who would have thought these people who
loved us so would now
leave us stranded--except they'd left more food and
water.
As we were about to take another cat-nap, the door opened
again,
and our kitty sitter came with our humans. Huh? They
located
two cat carriers, as we watched from the closet, but instead
of
leaving, the humans came into the bedroom, shutting the door.
Oh!
PURRhaps they've come for us at last, we almost dared not
to
hope.
Gabbie and I both knew too well what can happen to
cats
especially during a move or during the holidays. This was a
most
dangerous time of year and we knew it. But could it be?
Could
it be? Our little hearts pounded.
Now of course we could
not let them easily take us; we had to put
up our catly flight of fear.
We both did this tremendously.
Gabbie was caught but now I was in this game
for the fun of it,
aware they were taking me with them. But then--a
blanket--oh my!
Into the carrier I went! Plop! Zip! Oh
well, my fate was no
longer in my paws.
Terror-stricken in the carrier
on wheels, Gabbie mewed like a
kitten but I was at a loss for meows.
Could we really trust that
we'd be reunited with our bothersome brothers or
were they taking
us...Don't even go there!
Eventually Mom human
carried me and though this was not my
favorite thing, I trusted
her.
But then--I couldn't believe this! She sat me down on
this
unfamiliar sidewalk and walked away! I began to yowl in a way
no
one had heard before! I tried to sound like a big, huge,
scary
cat, not the little scaredy-cat I was. Poor little
Maryah;
abandoned again!
Dad human had been carrying Gabbie but now
mom human had her. I
saw them go through a door, possibly never to be
seen again and I
upped the volume and intensity of my yowl. I know she
heard me,
but she left me there!
Then dad human slowly walked over to
me, picked me up and brought
me into the same building. He said
something about Gabbie being
too heavy, hurting his back. Oh! Now
I understood! They'd just
switched us!
With renewed hope, I
ceased the wild yowling and up the stairs
we went.
Now here I was; and
here were the familiar Jaspur and Mikey! All
of us in a new
place! For seconds, we were all truly glad to see
each
other!
Totally relieved we snooped around, locating our catbox, food
and
water! We loved the soft carpet and oh, look at
this!
Kitty-width window sills! Woo-Hoo! It's territory time
now!
And Meowy CATmas to you!
Love,
Maryah Merryfield
* * *
* * * * * * *
(Editor's note: Though this was written about dogs, it
could
equally apply to cats)
("Now wait just one minute!" yowls
Jaspur! "We're *never*
*that* *baaaaad*!")
Subject: [nagdu]
Doggy Ain't Getting Nothin for Christmas
I'm Getting Nothing for
Christmas
(chorus)
I'm getting nothing for Christmas
Mommy and
Daddy are mad
I'm getting nothing for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been
nothing but bad
I stole some pizza from the box
Somebody snitched on
me
Chewed a book, a toy, some socks
Somebody snitched on
me
Next year I'll be going straight
Next year I'll be good just
wait
Oooh what's that on Jordan's plate
Oh somebody snitched on
me
(chorus)
I tried to steal the bunny's kale
Somebody snitched
on me
I yanked my sleeping brother's tail
Somebody snitched on
me
Next year I will really try
I won't shred paper or steal pizza
pie
I won't make all the flowers die
Oh somebody snitched on
me
(chorus)
I chewed Barbie's arms and legs
Somebody snitched
on me
I stole chocolate Easter eggs
Somebody snitched on me
I
ate bunny's hay and threw it up
I chewed Jordan's Hercules cup
I was
such a naughty pup
Oh somebody snitched on me
(chorus)
I
wouldn't leave the knives alone
Somebody snitched on me
I chewed up
Mommy's cordless phone
Somebody snitched on me
Next year I will try so
hard
I won't destroy my Mommy's yard
Or chew up all the Christmas
cards
Oh somebody snitched on me
(chorus)
I unlocked the door
and snuck outside
Somebody snitched on me
I threw up whenever I went
for a ride
Somebody snitched on me
I won't embarrass my Mommy in
class
I won't dig up the brand new grass
Or pull fur from Jean-Luc's
<BLEEP>
Oh somebody snitched on me
(chorus)
When Mommy
vacuumed, I pulled the plug
Somebody snitched on me
I made Jordan gag
by eating bugs
Somebody snitched on me
Next year when Christmas grows
near
I won't have a thing to fear
I'll even give up stealing
beer
Oh somebody snitched on me
(chorus)
Left in the car, I
honked the horn
Somebody snitched on me
I barked and barked in early
morn
Somebody snitched on me
Santa give me one more chance
I won't
dig up my Mommy's plants
And then perform my happy dog dance
Oh
somebody snitched on me
(chorus)
I pulled some branches off the
tree
Somebody snitched on me
When I got mad on my leash I
peed
Somebody snitched on me
Next year I'll be good I swear
I won't
chew daddy's underwear
When I play with brother I'll fight fair
Oh
somebody snitched on me
(chorus)
I made my poor, sweet Jordan
cry
Somebody snitched on me
I never had a good alibi
Somebody
snitched on me
I'll stop getting muddy and wet
I'll try and be the
perfect pet
I'll never grab my daddy's omelette
Oh somebody snitched
on me
(chorus)
I almost drove my mommy mad
Somebody snitched on
me
I annoyed my tired, overworked dad
Somebody snitched on
me
Mommy's hoarse from yelling at me
I destroyed her lilac
tree
And annoyed the company
Oh somebody snitched on
me
(chorus)
I helped myself to the cookie bag
Somebody snitched
on me
I chewed up all the new dishrags
Somebody snitched on
me
To my Mommy I won't be rude
I won't keep stealing the kitty's
food
I'll try and have a good attitude
Oh somebody snitched on
me
(chorus)
I ate Mommy's half-read mystery book
Somebody
snitched on me
And stole the soup while it did cook
Somebody snitched
on me
If I can have just one little bone
For my sins I will
atone
I'll even leave the kitties alone
Oh somebody snitched on
me
(chorus)
I won't chew Jordan's new tea set
I won't be bad
while at the vets
I'll be good--won't forget
Oh somebody snitched on
me
I will try to not act vile
I won't get all crazy and wild
I
won't take advantage of the small child
Oh somebody snitched on
me
Next year I will win awards
I won't chew up any more
boards
Or puke in my Mommy's Accord
Oh somebody snitched on
me
Next year I will be the best
Me be bad--you surely jest
I
might even let my Mommy rest
Oh somebody snitched on me
--prolific
author unknown
@@@@@@@@
http://www.cfainc.org/articles/holiday-hazards.htmlPet Poison Safety Tips For the Holiday Season
by Jill A.
Richardson, DVM
Veterinary Poison Information Specialist
ASPCA/Animal
Poison Control Center
The holidays are a time to eat, drink, decorate and
share good
times with friends and family.
However, the same treats and
trimmings considered harmless
for humans can be hazardous to your pet's
health. The ASPCA
Animal Poison Control Center is offering pet owners some
helpful
hints to keep their pets happy and healthy during the
holiday
season.
a.. Holiday sweets with chocolate are not for
pets. Depending
on the dose ingested, chocolate (bakers, semi sweet, milk
and
dark) can be poisonous to many animals. In general, the less
sweet the
chocolate, the more toxic it could be. In fact,
unsweetened baking chocolate
contains almost seven times more
theobromine as milk chocolate. Vomiting,
diarrhea, seizures,
hyperactivity and increased thirst, urination and heart
rate can
be seen with the ingestion of as little as 1/4 ounce of
baking
chocolate by a 10-pound dog.
b.. Keep your pet on its
normal diet. Any change of diet, even
for one meal, may give your dog or cat
severe indigestion and
diarrhea. This is particularly true for older animals
that have
more delicate digestive systems and nutritional
requirements.
Boiled or grilled meats and fresh vegetables can be
offered
as a healthy alternative.
c.. Don't give pets holiday
leftovers and keep pets out of the
garbage. Poultry bones can splinter and
cause blockages. Greasy,
spicy and fatty for spoiled foods can cause stomach
upset and
moldy foods could cause tremors or seizures.
d..
Alcohol and pets do NOT mix. Place unattended alcoholic
drinks where pets
cannot reach them.
If ingested, the animal could become very sick and
weak
and may go into a coma.
e.. Keep aluminum foil and
cellophane candy wrappers away from
pets. They can cause vomiting and
intestinal blockage.
f.. Be careful with holiday floral
arrangements. Lilies are
commonly used and many varieties including Tiger,
Asian, Japanese
Show, Stargazer and Casa Blanca can cause kidney failure in
cats.
Safe alternatives can include artificial flowers made from
silk
or plastic.
g.. Common Yuletide plants such as mistletoe
and holly berries
can be toxic to pets. Should a cat or dog eat mistletoe,
they
could suffer gastrointestinal upset and cardiovascular
problems.
Holly can cause vomiting, nausea, diarrhea and lethargy
if
ingested.
h.. Poinsettias are over rated in toxicity. They
are considered
to be very low in toxicity, however, they could cause
mild
vomiting or nausea if ingested by your pet.
i.. Christmas
tree water may contain dangerous fertilizers,
which if ingested, can cause
stomach upset. Stagnant tree water
can also act as a breeding ground for
bacteria and if ingested a
pet could end up with nausea and
diarrhea.
j.. Decorate your tree with animal safe ornaments such
as dried
non-toxic flowers, wood, fabric or pinecones. If
ingested,
ribbons or tinsel can become lodged in the intestines and
cause
intestinal obstruction. This is a very common problem
with
kittens.
HOLIDAY FOODS & BEVERAGES THAT ARE TOXIC TO
PETS
a.. Alcoholic Beverages: Alcoholic beverages can cause
alcohol
poisoning. If ingested, the animal could become very drunk
and
weak, may become severely depressed or may go into a coma.
b.. Yeast Dough: Uncooked yeast dough, if ingested (most cases
are with dogs)
can rise in the stomach and cause severe pain.
Pets who have eaten bread
dough may experience abdominal pain,
bloat, vomiting, disorientation and
depression. Since the
breakdown product of rising dough is alcohol, it can
cause
an alcohol poisoning. Many cases like this require surgical
removal
of the dough. Even small amounts can be dangerous.
c.. Chocolate
(bakers, semi sweet, milk and dark): If ingested,
chocolate can cause
vomiting, diarrhea, seizures, hyperactivity
and increased thirst, urination
and heart rate. This can be seen
with the ingestion of as little as 1/4 ounce
of baking chocolate
by a 10-pound dog. Chocolate poisoning does not seem to
be a
problem in cats, although it is possible if enough would
be
ingested.
d.. Nicotine: Tobacco products can be fatal to
dogs and cats if
ingested. Signs of nicotine poisonings often develop within
15 45
minutes. Symptoms include excitation, salivation, panting,
vomiting
and diarrhea. Muscle weakness, twitching, depression,
coma, increased heart
rate and cardiac arrest can follow.
e.. Coffee (ground, beans,
chocolate covered espresso beans):
Contain caffeine which is a stimulant and
depending on the dose
ingested, stimulation, restlessness, increased heart
rate,
tremors, or seizures could be seen.
f.. Macadamia Nuts:
Macadamia nuts can cause muscular weakness,
depression, vomiting,
disorientation, tremors, abdominal pain and
muscle stiffness in dogs. The
effects can last 1-3 days. This has
not been reported in any other
species.
g.. Grapes and Raisins: The ASPCA Animal Poison Control
Center
is aware of recent reports of dogs alleged to have developed
kidney
failure following ingestion of large amounts of grapes or
raisins. There has
also been one case of renal failure occurring
in a cat who ate raisins.
Veterinary toxicologists at the APCC
are currently investigating these cases
in an attempt to
determine the causative agents or disease processes. At this
time
the exact role of grapes or raisins in these cases is
unclear.
The ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center is the premier
animal
poison control center in North America. Established in 1978,
the
Center is the only facility of its kind staffed by
twenty-five
veterinarians including five board-certified
veterinary
toxicologists and ten certified veterinary technicians.
Located
in Urbana, Illinois, the specially trained staff
provides
assistance to pet owners and specific analysis and
treatment
recommendation to veterinarians pertaining to toxic chemicals
and
dangerous plants, products or substances 24 hours a day, 7 days
a
week. In 2001, the Center handled over 65,000 cases.
The Center
recently launched the Veterinary Lifeline Partner
Program to make it easier
for veterinarians to quickly respond to
poison emergencies. In addition, the
ASPCA Animal Poison Control
Center also provides extensive veterinary
toxicology expert
consulting on a wide array of subjects includes legal
cases,
formulation issues, product liability and regulatory
reporting.
To reach The ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center you can
call
1-888-426-4435. For more information on The ASPCA Animal
Poison
Control Center visit
www.apcc.aspca.org.
Last
Updated: 11/5/02
@@@@@@@
Plants and Your Cat
http://www.cfainc.org/articles/plants.htmlPlants add the needed finishing touches to any decor. But, if
you
have a feline, that beautiful plant could become a deadly
enemy.
Listed here are plants poisonous to cats that must be avoided
if
there are cats in your home. Note that lilies(*), in particular,
are
dangerous to cats.
While in some cases, just parts of a plant (bark,
leaves, seeds,
berries, roots, tubers, spouts, green shells) might be
poisonous,
this list rules out the whole plant. If you must have any
of
them, keep them safely out of reach.
Should your feline friend eat
part of a poisonous plant, rush the
cat to your veterinarian as soon as
possible. If you can, take
the plant with you for ease of
identification.
Plants Poisonous to
Cats
Almond (Pits
of)
Aloe
Vera
Alocasia
Amaryllis
Apple
(seeds)
Apple Leaf
Croton
Apricot (Pits
of)
Arrowgrass
Asparagus
Fern
Autumn
Crocus
Avacado (fuit and
pit)
Azalea
Baby's Breath
Baneberry
Bayonet
Beargrass
Beech
Belladonna
Bird of
Paradise
Bittersweet
Black-eyed
Susan
Black
Locust
Bleeding
Heart
Bloodroot
Bluebonnet
Box
Boxwood
Branching Ivy
Buckeyes
Buddist
Pine
Burning
Bush
Buttercup
Cactus,
Candelabra
Caladium
Calla
Lily
Castor
Bean
Ceriman
Charming Dieffenbachia
Cherry (pits, seeds
& wilting leaves)
Cherry, most wild
varieties
Cherry,
ground
Cherry,
Laurel
Chinaberry
Chinese
Evergreen
Christmas
Rose
Chrysanthemum
Cineria
Clematis
Cordatum
Coriaria
Cornflower
Corn
Plant
Cornstalk
Plant
Croton
Corydalis
Crocus,
Autumn
Crown of
Thorns
Cuban
Laurel
Cutleaf
Philodendron
Cycads
Cyclamen
Daffodil
Daphne
Datura
Deadly
Nightshade
Death
Camas
Devil's
Ivy
Delphinium
Decentrea
Dieffenbachia
Dracaena
Palm
Dragon
Tree
Dumb
Cane
Easter Lily
*
Eggplant
Elaine
Elderberry
Elephant
Ear
Emerald
Feather
English
Ivy
Eucalyptus
Euonymus
Evergreen
Ferns
Fiddle-leaf
fig
Florida
Beauty
Flax
Four O'Clock
Foxglove
Fruit Salad
Plant
Geranium
German
Ivy
Giant Dumb
Cane
Glacier IvyGolden
Chain
Gold
Dieffenbachia
Gold Dust
Dracaena
Golden
Glow
Golden
Pothos
Gopher
Purge
Hahn's Self-Branching
Ivy
Heartland
Philodendron
Hellebore
Hemlock,
Poison
Hemlock,
Water
Henbane
Holly
Honeysuckle
Horsebeans
Horsebrush
Horse
Chestnuts
Hurricane
Plant
Hyacinth
Hydrangea
Indian Rubber
Plant
Indian
Tobacco
Iris
Iris Ivy
Jack in the
Pulpit
Janet Craig
Dracaena
Japanese Show Lily
*
Java Beans
Jessamine
Jerusalem
Cherry
Jimson
Weed
Jonquil
Jungle Trumpets
Kalanchoe
Lacy Tree
Philodendron
Lantana
Larkspur
Laurel
Lily
Lily Spider
Lily of the
Valley
Locoweed
Lupine
Madagascar Dragon
Tree
Marble
Queen
Marigold
Marijuana
Mescal
Bean
Mexican
Breadfruit
Miniature
Croton
Mistletoe
Mock
Orange
Monkshood
Moonseed
Morning
Glory
Mother-in Law's
Tongue
Morning
Glory
Mountain
Laurel
Mushrooms
Narcissus
Needlepoint
Ivy
Nephytis
Nightshade
Oleander
Onion
Oriental Lily
*
Peace
Lily
Peach (pits and wilting
leaves)
Pencil
Cactus
Peony
Periwinkle
Philodendron
Pimpernel
Plumosa
Fern
Poinciana
Poinsettia (low
toxicity)
Poison
Hemlock
Poison
Ivy
Poison
Oak
Pokeweed
Poppy
Potato
Pothos
Precatory
Bean
Primrose
Privet,
Common
Red
Emerald
Red
Princess
Red-Margined
Dracaena
Rhododendron
Rhubarb
Ribbon
Plant
Rosemary
Pea
Rubber
Plant
Saddle Leaf
Philodendron
Sago
Palm
Satin
Pothos
Schefflera
Scotch
Broom
Silver
Pothos
Skunk
Cabbage
Snowdrops
Snow on the
Mountain
Spotted Dumb
Cane
Staggerweed
Star of
Bethlehem
String of
Pearls
Striped
Dracaena
Sweetheart
Ivy
Sweetpea
Swiss Cheese plant
Tansy
Mustard
Taro
Vine
Tiger Lily
*
Tobacco
Tomato Plant (green fruit, stem and leaves)
Tree Philodendron
Tropic Snow
Dieffenbachia
Tulip
Tung
Tree
Virginia
Creeper
Water
Hemlock
Weeping
Fig
Wild
Call
Wisteria
Yews
--
e.g. Japanese
Yew
English
Yew
Western
Yew
American Yew
List compiled by
Jeffrey D. Rakes
Reprinted from PET Magazine's Cat Care Guide, Summer
1987
Updated with the assistance of Dr. Jill Richardson,
ASPCA
National Animal Poison Control Center, December
1997
@@@@@@@
=====================
(note: this ad is from
our former webperson before we found our
current managed account with
Katstorm&co.)
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MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW
Lauren
Merryfield is the editor/publisher of CATLINES. She and
her husband,
Jim, live in Washington with their four feline
"kids," Jaspur, Mikey,
Gabrielle and Maryah. Daughter, Lynden,
lives in Nebraska, Lauren's
homeland.
Lauren has been published in several magazines and
books
including
"The Braille Monitor," "Future Reflections,"
(national
Publications) and "News From Blind Nebraskans," state
newsletter.
"Heartwarmers of Love," an anthology, contains her story
"Love
Far Beyond The Physical," concerning the marriage to her
husband
Jim.
Her story "Kabootle: Rescue Cat," was published in
an
anthology by Angel Animals, entitled "God's Messengers:
what animals tell us
about the Divine."
Her essay "My heroes three" appeared in the August,
2004 edition
of the CF Alliance Newsletter, (fibromyalgia.) Her poem
"Missed
Opportunities" was published in FibroHugs book of poetry
2004.
Lauren is a member of the Cat Writers' Association:
http://www.catwriters.organd
co-owner of
http://www.catliness.comwhere
one can join CATLINES.
She has recently opened her first
honest-to-goodness online
store, selling cat-theme jewelry items, some are
one-of-a-kind:
http://www.catliness.comShe is
now a member of the APLB--Association For Pet-Loss And
Bereavement, receiving
a diploma in counselor training in May of
2004.
http://www.aplb.organd, Heaven forbid, says Jim, the Cat Collectors' Club:
http://www.catcollectors.orgAnd even *more* "Heaven forbid," she's on Ebay:
EBAY! We're
there! Bid Now!
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/meowheart/.
She is enjoying spreading her catliness
around!
MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW
---------------------
InstantAudio
Put
audio in your emails, on your website; isn't that cool!
Join us
today:
http://instantaudio.com/specialinfo.asp?x=34122---------------------
(It is quite possible that many
of the "author unknown" catly
writings appearing in CATLINES are those of
Mark Mason at:
http://www.catdiary.com
)
---------------------
3: Bizcat
Skills
Greetings,
I hope this finds you well and that you are
having a prosperous
month. Here is an article by Chris Wilder I'd like to
share with
you.
SEVEN THINGS YOU MUST GIVE TO OTHERS IF YOU WANT TO
ACHIEVE
SUCCESS!
A major part of the process of achieving success and
living the
kind of life that you dream of is to give. Many people think
that
to get what you want you have to take it. There is a universal
truth
though that the true path to get what you want is to give.
When you give,
you get. What you sow, you shall reap. If this is
true, then what is it we
must give? I'll show you the way...
Give Others Your Honesty. The world
we live in has a simple rule
that most follow: Lie when you have to.
Unfortunately, this may
make some people wealthy but it make us humans poor.
To achieve
success is to become wealthy not only in money, but in
character.
To be successful, truly successful, is to be able to attain
your
goals and keep your character at the same time!
"Honesty is the
most single most important factor having a direct
bearing on the final
success of an individual, corporation, or
product." Ed McMahon
Mister
McMahon is right, though others will tell you otherwise.
Some people will
say, "You have to bend the truth to get ahead."
Not true. Some of the
most successful people who have ever lived
were honest people.
How
about you? Are you honest in all things? The problem with
little lies is they
become big ones.
Lies spin out of control. You get caught in one lie
and
you lie to get out of it etc.
In all things and at all times, give
others your honesty.
Give Others Your Respect. Most of the time we give
people respect
based on what they have done or what they have accomplished.
We
gauge whether or not they are "worthy" of it based on what we
know of
what they have achieved or who they know or are related
to.
But I
believe we should have a higher standard: We respect people
not for what they
have done or for who they are related to or for
what they can do for us.
Instead, we respect people for simply
being.
What would happen in our
world, in our company, and yes, even in
our families if we started with
respect for everyone else rather
than making them earn it? I think we would
see that most people
would live up to the respect that we give
them!
Give Others Your Vulnerability. We are taught to "be strong."
And
yes, we should be strong. But we have also embraced something
that I
think keeps us from having the kind of life that we long
for. It is an idea
that keeps us from experiencing the kind of
relationships that would bring
deep meaning to us.
It is the idea of vulnerability.
"But Chris,
make yourself vulnerable and people will step all
over you!" It is true that
this will happen. But I have also seen
that most people will be drawn to you.
They will help you. They
will open up to you. You see, we are all broken
people inside. We
all have secrets. Yet everyone plays the poser.
When
one let's down their veil, others soon follow - and we all
win.
Give
Others Your Care. Too many people are running around this
old earth not
caring about others.
The days of "Look Out for Number One" and "Winning
Through
Intimidation" are over! Let's bring about a new day when we
can
care about others AND succeed!
Take the time to show people you
care. Listen to them. Empathize
with them. Love them. Now, I don't mean that
you have to go
around hugging everyone - that probably wouldn't fly in
corporate
America anyway - but we can take some time to step back
from
business and be human! And I have found that when we do so,
our
business succeeds as well!
Give Others Your Passion. There is
nothing this world needs more
than passionate people. And people need
passionate people. Living
in this day and age can be tiring. The hustle and
bustle of it
all can wear you down and tire you out. Give your passion
to
others and fire them up.
Don't just be humdrum - be excited. Give
people all the energy
you can muster up. And you will find that energy
reciprocal. They
will get energized and passionate. This in turn will fire
you up
more when you are already charged and get you going altogether
when
you don't feel like moving at all!
Give Others Your Experience. We all
have areas that we excel in
and they are usually areas that we have
experience in. One of the
things we can do to make our lives more meaningful
and be of
utmost help to others is to show them the way through
the
experiences we have.
Sometimes it will be what they should do:
Shortcuts to take,
people to meet etc. Sometimes it will be what they should
not do:
Shortcuts not to take and people to stay away from! Whatever
it
is, we can be of service to others by giving them our experience
and
ultimately it will make us all better!
Give Others Your Help. All in all,
what we want to do is to help
others. Zig Ziglar says that if we will "help
others get what
they want, we will in turn get what we want." If we want to
be
successful, we should consider ourselves servants of other
people. What
can we do to help them and make them better?
This is the true path to
greatness and success, not only in
business but in life!
If you want
to live the life you have always dreamed of ask
yourself if you
will:
Give Others Your Honesty
Give Others Your Respect.
Give
Others Your Vulnerability.
Give Others Your Care.
Give Others Your
Passion.
Give Others Your Experience.
Give Others Your Help.
Warm
regards,
Robert Short
562.209.1582
@@@@@@@
Murphy's Top
10 Laws of Computing
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though
you meant it
to happen.
When you get to the point where you really
understand your
computer, it's probably obsolete.
The first place to
look for information is in the section of the
manual where you'd least expect
to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
For every action,
there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
To err is human...to blame
your computer for your mistakes is
even more human, it's downright
natural.
He who laughs last probably has a back-up.
The number one
cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
A complex system that
doesn't work is invariably found to have
evolved from a simpler system that
worked just fine.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to
do, but
rarely what you want it to do.
--author
unknown
@@@@@@@
=====================
Attention
advertisers:
The Free Ad Board I promised you is now here for your
convenience
at CATLINES.
Submit your ads at:
http://www.freeadboard.com/?pro=470=====================
Write a book now!
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The Cat's Meow
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4: Look What The Cats Dragged
In
"Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule:
when
fat, arrange yourself in slim poses." - John Weitz
Bill Adler: A
cat is there when you call her - if she
doesn't have anything better to
do.
"Whether they be the musician cats in my band or the real cats
of
the world, they all got style."
--Ray Charles
What is the cat's
favorite magazine?
^,,^ Good Mousekeeping.
><
What
is a cat's way of keeping law and order?
=^..^= Claw Enforcement.
LOL
"The family pet isn't scheming to get into your purse to get
his
share of the money in your pocket, he's trying to figure out a
way to
get those pungent chicken bones out of the garbage pail.
The value of
anything is always the value we invest in it. Both
money and chicken bones
are essentially neutral; their value or
lack of it is dependent upon each
being's desire system"
- Lama Surya Das
A cat may look like a
king.
Author: Unattributed Author
Source: title of a Pamphlet
It
has been the providence of Nature to give this creature [the
cat] nine lives
instead of one.
Author: Bidpai (Pilpay)
Source: The Greedy and Ambitious
Cat (fable iii)
Lauk! what a monstrous tail our cat has got!
Author:
Henry Carey
Source: The Dragon of Wantley (act II, sc. 1)
Mrs. Crupp
had indignantly assured him that there wasn't room to
swing a cat there; but
as Mr. Dick justly observed to me, sitting
down on the foot of the bed,
nursing his leg, "You know,
Trotwood, I don't want to swing a cat. I never do
swing a cat.
Therefore what does that signify to me?"
Author: Charles
Dickens
Source: The Personal History of David Copperfield (vol. II,
ch.
VI)
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5: from
Outside the catbox
Thanks for the feedback, from ideas for this
newsletter to your
cat questions and concerns, which I've been glad to
answer, to
the best of my knowledge, or forward you on to someone else
who
knows better than I. Maybe someday I'll be paid for
this???
Thanks.
Lauren Merryfield
6: subscription info and
other strays
a catly site!
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