-------------------- Welcome to *CATLINES* the MEWsletter! For cat-loving Home Business PURRSons: home business workers desiring to share what they know --------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A MESSAGE FROM YOUR EDITOR IN HER OWN VOICE! Click This Link To Play The Audio Message (or type it into your browser) http://PlayAudioMessage.com/play.asp?m=12458&f=MXEPDX&ps=6&p=1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brand new! another newsletter for you! Especially for your friends who are not as into cats as we are! Home Business Tips/BIZLINES: http://www.bizofchoice.com (our new sister publication) -------------------- Remember to Help the feline population by adopting or fostering stray, hungry, frightened cats! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ New entries on our website; come check them out! Something there just for you! http://www.catliness.com @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ If you cannot find it on catliness, go to our latest website: http://www.stuffandsuchandeverything.com We are in the process of moving some of the non-cat stuff over there. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Animal Lovers' Jewelry is Now Open for Business: Sterling silver items made in Italy; and hand-made gemstone cat jewelry made by none other than: YOUR EDITOR/PUBLISHER! http://www.animalloversjewelry.com @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ EBAY; we finally made it!  Bid now!  Bid Often! http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/meowheart/. ******* Proud Members: This ezine is listed at Ezine Publishers Association Inc. (EPAI) Join Free At: http://www.EzinePublisher.org ********************** >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< *CATLINES* vol. 2, Issue 10, December 15, 2003 Published monthly by http://www.catliness.com (in nine lives of progress) WINNER OF THE GOLDEN WHISKERS AWARD http://www.meowhoo.com hosted by Katherine Cook at: http://www.katstorm.com ===================== Editor: Lauren Merryfield =======>^..^<===== Treats For December  (Note: copy the links into your browser to make them work; music and great verses you don't want to miss!) ******* >   Santa in the Sky with Reindeer! > http://www.gotlaughs.com/funpages/view.cfm/792 ******* Christmas Time http://www.mamarocks.com/christmas_time.htm ******* Candy Cane Lane http://www.mamarocks.com/candy_cane_lane.htm ******* from Debbie Party Cat" Come on in, sit down, chill, relax and have a good time! http://www.freakyanimals.com/pic.shtml?x0512.jpg ******* "Somehow, not only for Christmas, but all the long year through, the joy that you give to others, is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessing, the poor and lonely and sad, the more of your heart's possessing, returns to you glad." --John Greenleaf Whittier Jack Haydon Indepent Watkins Distributor Get Free Product and Business Information Here CELL: 727-710-8036 ******* ===================== from my friend, Chris L.  She sells everything! http://tishtreasure.zoovy.com ===================== Mastery Tv, positive education and personal growth. Find out what we're all about. http://www.masterytv.biz/catly ===================== ******* If you are receiving this newsletter, either you subscribed recently or received a copy from a friend. Thank you for joining and accepting our catly ezine, ads and other notices from catliness.com! ******* Subscribing and unsubscribing: It is easier to subscribe than to unsubscribe; that's how the system is set up.  However, if one really wants to do the uncatly thing, one  may do so once into the system.  The other way is to send an email to: mailto:infoRus@catliness.com with unsubscribe in the subject. Thanks. And if you do it--you just may have Jaspur Jaws to answer to, lol. ********************* --------------------- >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< (3 kitty heads, representing Jaspur, Mikey and Gabrielle, suPURRvisors and helPURRs in these adventures into catliness.) ===================== >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< And now! ... 3cats present... * CATLINES * ===================== Table of contents: 1: Kibble Nibble: mewsings from the food bowl (editorial) 2: Kitten Kabootle's Kubbyhole (catly writings) (in loving memory of Kitten Kabootle, now living at Rainbow Bridge) 3: biz-catskills (home-business, motivational or general biz articles) 4: look what the cats dragged in (jokes, quotes, very brief verse) 5: from Outside the catbox (questions, comments from readers) 6: subscription info and other strays --------------------- BE SURE TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO SUBSCRIBE TO CATLINES! SEND THEM TO Our newly revised: http://www.catliness.com===================== 1: Kibble Nibble: mewsings from the food bowl (editorial) Happy Holidays, Cat-loving Home-Business PURRSons, December!  How did tht happen?  It's not long now to next year! Holy cats!  the time is catapulting by! We will be spending our holidays in Nebraska this year, my original home.  Our daughter, Lynden, is graduating from the University of Nebraska and my sister, Barbara, is getting married again!  And then there's all the other fun stuff in between--and too many treats! The kitties know when the suitcases appear that it's cat abandonment day and they let us know they don't like it one bite! Gabbie hides, Jaspur gets into the suitcases as often as he possibly can, and Mikey just gets even more lovey-dovey than he is anyway! Jaspur was standing at the "can-stalk" their stack of canned food that seems to suddenly grownone day and then becomes smaller and smaller, and Jaspur is more worried the smaller the stack is, and downright scolds if the "can-stalk" has totally disappeared, even if it is just for a few hours! The three of them seem to have transitioned to the new food just fine, which is especially good for Gabrielle. Don't worry, we have a kitty sitter coming while we're gone, so these guys won't starve or really be totally abandoned, though we'll get it on our return--mostly the silent treatment. Well, once again, happy holidays, Meowy CATmas, and Happy MEW Year! I was a contributing author to Allen and Linda Anderson's "God's Messengers: what animals tell us about the Divine."  Kabootle has been commemorated once more!  You may read more about this opportunity below. We at catliness.com wish all of you a Happy, blessed holiday season! Lauren Merryfield ******* For those you know who are not into catliness to the extent that we are, and/or if you'd like another home-business-oriented ezine to PURRuse, check out: http://www.bizofchoice.com Your ads will eventually appear in BIZLINES. BIZLINES is a part of your subscription there and it comes out when it's ready, lol. ******* Please remember the free ad board for placement of your ads-- read below.  Here's a major hint for advertising in CATLINES. One's ad is much more likely to place in CATLINES if it is composed so as to keep with our catly theme.  Thanks. (Don't you just *love* people who don't practice what they preach?)  lol.  I'm thinking on this one!  One snag is that some companies want us to use their ads and our catly creativity could be frowned upon in a not-at-all aMEWSing way. Lauren Merryfield, (see bio elsewhere in this issue) --------------------- Catly Resources: Association For Pet Loss And Bereavement: http://www.aplb.org ******* Cat Collectors' Site: http://www.catcollectors.com ******* Cat-writers' site: http://www.catwriters.org ********************* For the very best litter, check out the following: http://www.worldsbestcatlitter.com ********************* For help with excessive scratching/clawing: http://www.stickypaws.com ) ********************* ===================== How can you save on gas, time and effort, yet have all the health and beauty products you need? Have them shipped right to your door. I'm talking about everyday items: toothpaste, deodorant, beauty items, safe cleaning products, nutritional supplements that taste good!, lip balm (the best) and so much more! Just shop at *our* store; items shipped to your door! http://safe4u.toxicfreehomes.com " Household cleansers are the major source of home toxins. Approximately 500,000 tons of liquid cleaners are washed down U.S. drains annually. Most of these products rely on petroleum- based surfactants, solvents and other chemicals, some of which are known to be acutely toxic in large doses. Others have been linked to reproductive illnesses and cancer. Most of these chemicals have not been tested for their impact on human health." - Judy Morgan, Environmentalist --------------------- ===================== Where can you get all the home-business stuff you need in one place? http://www.profitsvaultmonthly.com/pvm?i=catly 2: Kitten Kabootle's Kubbyhole (catly writings) Subject: IT'S A CAT'S CHRISTMAS  >>grin<< Ok, sing along, cat lovers! On the first day of Christmas when I brought home my tree My 12 cats were laughing at me. On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me ! ! On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 10 tinsel hairballs 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts ! 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 11 broken branches 10 tinsel hairballs 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree 12 cats a-climbing 11 broken branches 10 tinsel hairballs 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me! --author unknown @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Hi, Lauren, Simon would be delighted to have this appear in Catlines. Dear Santa, Now that I'm a Big TV Star, on Animal Planet no less, I hope you'll give careful consideration to this letter. I was a very good kitty this year, except for the couple of times I slipped out the back door and dashed across to the neighbor's yard to check things out there. Keep in mind I DID come back on my own, and should be forgiven on that account. As for the cat hair in the suitcase, I don't think that should be held against me. You know how I hate it when The Lady Who Shares My Office goes out of town, and this trip was particularly galling because she flew to Houston, Texas, to the Cat Writers' Association conference. Just WHO is the cat writer in this household? Shouldn't I have been the one to go to this event, since it was MY book that won a Certificate of Excellence last year? She claims co-authorship, but everyone knows that my name is on the front cover. Anyway, I just got into the suitcase to see if it was comfortable, in case she changed her mind and decided to take me along. I really wanted to go, not only because I've never been to Texas (are the cats bigger there, do you think?) but also because I understand that, in honor of the big international cat show in Houston at the same time as the Cat Writers' conference, the hotel has an entire floor full of litter boxes! Which brings me to the confusion about my requests last year. First of all, I think you misunderstood me when I asked for a litter room. You must have thought I wanted another litter box. Wrong! I want the entire furnace room covered with litter. The second problem has to do with the quality of rubber toys. I assume you don't care for these yourself, Santa, or maybe even you wear dentures by now and can't appreciate the feel of a rubber snake between your teeth. So let me explain in detail. A proper rubber snake should be about a foot long, and made of very chewy, soft material, just hard enough not to break in two the first few times you bite in the mid-section, but not so hard that it hurts your teeth! The softer texture also makes it much more wiggly. I do need a new supply of these, as I've been forced this fall to play with several that are in pieces. Not a pretty sight! The little lizards made of similar material are fine, too, but their tails and feet should be long enough to be bitten off. Otherwise, what's the point in catching a lizard? My most important request, however, is the biggest mistake of all. Two years ago, I asked you to bring me Stuart Little. I received a white stuffed toy that barely resembled a mouse, along with the video of Stuart Little. I realized I hadn't been specific enough, so last year I asked you again, very politely, for the REAL Stuart Little. And you brought me yet another video, of Stuart Little II!  If I want to watch mice on TV, I'll put on the Animal Planet channel! So I'm asking again. This is the third time, Santa, so you know I Mean Business. Please understand that if you will just bring me Stuart Little, no harm will come to him. I am not going to eat him, or even bite off his tail. I promise! I just want a pet of my own, someone I can chase that won't stop in the middle of the floor when it runs out of batteries. You wouldn't believe how boring this household gets! I desperately need an adorable white mouse (jacket and bow tie optional) to play with. Please? Hoping you won't let me down this time, Simon Teakettle the Younger *** Simon Teakettle is the co-author of Mewsings/Musings, and can be reached via his website, www.SimonTeakettle.com. Barbara Florio Graham, who is leading a workshop on self- publishing at the Cat Writers' Association conference in Houston in November, is now offering mentoring for self- publishers. See the new Mentoring page on her website: www.SimonTeakettle.com, or e-mail her at simon@storm.ca @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Haji Baba and The 40 Peeves By Anna Marie Fritz Thursday, November 06, 2003 Cat Humor Haji Baba and The 40 Peeves A revision. This story first appeared in CAT TAB magazine. A few years ago, a beautiful Hybrid Himalayan by the name of Haji Baba, came to share our home. Or---more truthfully---allowed us to live there with him. As far as he was concerned, his name was not the exotic one given us with his papers, it was Master Domesticus, the first, no less. I love cats only slightly less than breathing. Scared kittens are a special weakness for me. When Haji Baba crept cautiously out of his airline carrier and onto my living room rug, it was love at first fright. In less than an hour though, after he'd relaxed a bit, he began a tour of his domain, in a manner representative of his sultanic name. Because he weighed only four pounds and was as black as an unlit cellar, we had to be extremely careful of where we stepped, after darkness set in. Until he was older and wiser, we employed a method of cat Braille, that of feeling our way through the hallways with our bare toes, so as not to step on the tiny fellow, or break our necks tripping over him. This particular method became a game to him, of course. Our toes were the "game." Since we were a lot bigger than he was, we figured a few chewed-on toes were better than an injured kitten. His full strength did not show itself, however, until it was time for his first bath. Usually, I don't bathe cats. They are fairly proficient at doing this for themselves. But Haji made it necessary when he leapt up onto the coffee table and into the middle of a Sticky Bun that was sitting next to my coffee cup. Frightened half out of his wits by the "goo" on his fur, he immediately washed it off by doing a bit from Swan Lake in his milk bowl. Our "baby" was a few pounds heavier now, and bathing him was tantamount to putting a swimsuit on a grizzly. It wasn't the sight of the water in the tub, and it wasn't the soap or the rinse. In fact, he stood perfectly still as I washed and rinsed him. So still, that I had to put my cheek next to his face, to see if he was still breathing. It was when I lifted him out of the water that he developed Lycanthropy, baring six-inch claws, and teeth that threatened to drain the blood from my carotid. You'd think I had attempted neutering, without benefit of anesthesia! I quickly grabbed a second, larger towel, and wrapped him up while speaking in low, loving, tender words that I somehow forced out of my benevolent being. "Everything's fine, baby cat, just fine. Put those pretty little teeth back in your sweet little mouth, and please remove the darning needles from my wrist, sweetie. Yes. yes.everything's fine. When we are nice and dry, we will find a nice, large clippers, and get rid of those awful toenails. Then we will go get our Tetanus shot, won't I?" I finished drying him, and he stood looking at me with an expression I interpreted as: "You just wait until I'm bigger. Let's see who wraps who in those towels!"  I had a vision of a gigantic Himalayan, leaning against the bathroom wall with his front legs crossed; grinning sardonically as I tried to extricate myself from a giant bath towel. By lunchtime, I had reclaimed my Mrs. Goody Twoshoes reputation, and he was rubbing against my legs appreciatively, as though I had a mouse in one hand and a ball of fresh catnip in the other. Haji's favorite playtime was fetching a ball we would toss up to the top of the stairs. He was as good as any Retriever; pouncing on the soft rubber sphere, picking it up in his mouth, and carrying it back down to drop at our feet. The problem with this game was, when he tired of it, he disappeared to parts unknown, taking the ball with him. I have no idea how many "fetch toys" we bought over the years he resided with us, but I will say one thing: No cat I have owned before or since was as adept at losing his balls as was our Haji. The very first one we bought him was only about an inch and a half in diameter, hard as a rock, but a great "bouncer." You know what I mean. The kind the kids use when they're playing Jacks. It vanished in the blink of an eye, to be re-discovered, a week later, by a head-shaking plumber who was not a cat aficionado. Then we got him one of those three-inch plastic Whiffo balls that make a sort of whistling sound when tossed. After that one disappeared, I began to smell a plastic odor every time I got near the woodstove. It took three pints of nail polish remover to clear away the remnants of the "white soup" under the heater. The next ball was about three times as large, and it, too, disappeared as fast as the weekly paycheck. After about a hundred "goners," we got him a sponge ball that was a foot in diameter. Would you believe he lost it? Those who are not cat-people are shaking their heads and saying: "This woman is purely nuts. Cats belong in the wild, anyway." That's what my dad used to say. I will agree that it takes a special type of human being to care for a cat of any kind. One must have nerves of steel, a stomach of iron, and hands like velvet. The patience of Job and the kindness of Jesus wouldn't hurt, either. I don't credit myself with these attributes, by the way, I simply love cats enough to ignore the inevitable. Though Haji had papers and we could have shown him at cat shows, we decided he did not have the personality to parade around in front of the public and be handled by show personnel. He was definitely not a people-cat. Our one-armed Vet will testify to this. By now you are thinking: "So what's this 40 peeves business? I see only a couple of things listed here," and you are correct. So I am going to bunch the remaining 38 together under the heading "giving your cat a pill." Friends of mine have told me that they've known or owned cats who are born hypochondriacs, and for whom administering a pill is like giving sugar to a pony. I don't doubt the veracity of these folk, but I will offer to recommend them for a gold Mickey. I can't stress it strongly enough, without resorting to upper case letters.HAJI HATED TO TAKE A PILL!  If you think I exaggerate, stop by and view the messages he left on the legs of the kitchen table, in the shreds of the davenport, and on my husband's arms. I discovered the hidden ferocity of our Himalayan, shortly after he arrived in our cold Wisconsin climate with the sniffles, and had to be prescribed an antibiotic---in capsule form, the size of a small torpedo. The sweet, gentle Bayou Baby turned into a fuzzy pretzel with eighteen barbs, which he immediately sunk into the nearest flesh. At the moment, it was my husband's, as I was the "doctor" who nearly lost the tips of three fingers. Here's what the "cat care" books tell you to do: "Have one person hold the cat, preferable with one arm under the animal's forelegs, and the other under its butt. Have the second person gently pry open the cat's jaw, push the pill to the back of the cat's throat, and quickly close its mouth, blowing gently on the cat's nose, while stroking the chin with the free hand." "What free hand?" I screamed, as Haji simultaneously spit the pill into the next forty and bit down hard on three of my fingers that were still in his mouth. "You're probably not quick enough," my husband said, mopping the blood from his arms, and looking around for Haji who was now in the cellar, behind the potato bin. After Haji's cold was long gone, and we realized he had not needed Ampicillin in the first place, we found a safer method of administering medicine. Haji adores Brewer's Yeast, and would eat it by the bowlful if we let him. Any time he needed a pill after that original nightmare episode, we opened the capsules and mixed them in with his yeast and he was none the wiser and a whole lot healthier. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ More Stories by Anna Marie Fritz Peeky, The Wonder Cat To be one with nature and its living creatures, is to understand the miracles of the universe. A.M.F. ... http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewshortstory.asp?id=10459 --------------------- Anna Marie Fritz has several books published, including a children's book named "Fredi," an adult romance novel (featuring a cat throughout) entitled "The Dream Garden," and a collection of award-winning poetry called "Anna-Versery," which also features her photography in the form of a beautiful white persian who balances out the pages of love verse. Anna Marie is also a contributing editor for Wishigan Outdoors Magazine, a Wisconsin-Michigan based journal that features her animal columns each month. She is a member of Authors Den, of The Society of Children's Book Writers *Illustrators, and of Cat Writers of America. Her work can be viewed on this website: http://www.authorsden.com/annamariefritz @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ===================== To hear Ken Evoy's first radio show, and discover the variety of themes for SBI sites, go to: http://seminars.sitesell.com/catly.html ===================== ******* ===================== Jim Edwards is so prolific.  Ready to keep up with his products? Choose below: ** NEWEST ** MP3's, ebook, software: "Web Law Clinic" http://www.weblawclinic.com/a/a.cgi?catly -------- ** NEW ** eBook: "Turn Words Into Traffic" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/ezarticles -------- Software: "Affiliate Link Cloaker" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/cloaklinks -------- eBook: "eBook Secrets Exposed" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/ebksecrets -------- eBook: "How to Write and Publish your own eBook... in as little as 7 Days" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/7dayebook -------- eBook: "The Lazy Man's Guide to Online Business" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/efbook -------- eBook: "Selling Your Home Alone" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/fsbohelp -------- eBook: "The TEN Dirty Little Secrets of Mortgage Financing" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/mortgages -------- Tool: "One Minute Poll" http://hop.clickbank.net/?catly/oneminpoll ===================== ******* ===================== (note:this ad is from our former webperson before we found our current managed account with Katstorm&co.) *ANNOUNCING!!* MOMMY ADS! Undeniably one of the best online resources for WAHMs. Fantastic at Home Business ideas! A multitude of Targeted Traffic Generators! Secure your *exclusive* listing today! http://www.mommyads.com ===================== --------------------- ===================== Subject: FW: Animal Rescue Site It only takes a second, and hopefully it helps! Please Help.... Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors / advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Editor's note:  They have catly jewelry there, too, proceeds going to help animals) ===================== MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW Lauren Merryfield is the editor/publisher of CATLINES.  She and her husband, Jim, live in Washington with their three feline "kids," Jaspur, Mikey and Gabrielle. Daughter, Lynden, lives in Nebraska, Lauren's homeland. Lauren has been published in several magazines and books including "The Braille Monitor," "Future Reflections," (national Publications) and "News From Blind Nebraskans," state newsletter. "Heartwarmers of Love," an anthology, contains her story "Love Far Beyond The Physical," concerning the marriage to her husband Jim. Most recently, her story "Kabootle: Rescue Cat," was published in a new anthology by Angel Animals, entitled "God's Messengers: what animals tell us about the Divine." Lauren is a member of the Cat Writers' Association: http://www.catwriters.org and co-owner of http://www.catliness.com where one can join CATLINES. She has recently opened her first honest-to-goodness online store, selling cat-theme jewelry items, some are one-of-a-kind: http://www.animalloversjewelry.com She is now a member of the APLB--Association For Pet-Loss And Bereavement http://www.aplb.org and, Heaven forbid, says Jim, the Cat Collectors' Club: http://www.catcollectors.org And even *more* "Heaven forbid," she's on Ebay: EBAY!  We're there!  Bid Now! http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/meowheart/. She recently decided to CATer to those who really are interested in non-cat items too, bringing about: http://www.stuffandsuchandeverything.com . She is enjoying spreading her catliness around! MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW --------------------- InstantAudio (note: Have you heard my audio message yet? my above message was made using Instant Audio!) Join us today: - increase sales - improve customer satisfaction - reduce selling costs - gain a competitive edge - grow your market share - strengthen customer loyalty - demonstrate how innovative you are - motivate your team - brighten your image - inspire repeat business - sign-up new subscribers - launch viral marketing efforts - establish yourself as a leader http://instantaudio.com/specialinfo.asp?x=34122 --------------------- (It is quite possible that many of the "author unknown" catly writings appearing in CATLINES are those of Mark Mason at: http://www.catdiary.com ) --------------------- 3:  Bizcat Skills The Top Title in the company I'm involved in is called Crown Diamond. I had always seen Crown Diamond as a huge mountain to be climbed. I knew when I reached the top by actually becoming a Crown Diamond; the world would be my oyster- money and the free time to enjoy it. That's what I thought I wanted. Dinners in Honolulu, San Francisco, Whistler, Australia; I had it all planned out. When I accomplished this goal I knew I would finally stake my flag at the top of that mountain and I'd be done. Well I did it. I maxed out the comp plan and broke all company records in doing so.  Even though I was featured In all the Industry magazines, and people were telling me how great it was... something was missing. My vision of what I wanted in life became a blur. Doubt began to set in. Why? Because, when I looked over the mountain I was shocked. There was nothing but dozens and dozens more mountains (especially in my personal life, really). I thought I had been tricked. What was this, I thought? No one said anything about this. I felt all alone. (My vision wasn't big enough- in case you're wondering). I sat there and contemplated what to do. Well first- I thought - I need to get my team up here, because you can't climb alone. So I looked back over the other side and again I was surprised. A lot of the people the smartest people - with all the best equipment were still at base camp.  For the first time I realized how many people had simply been watching me climb. As leaders you know that many of your people are simply content watching you climb. But they can't reach the top of the mountain by simply dressing up in all the gear and watching you. You MUST teach them to climb. Every base camp they hit needs to be celebrated and appreciated! It's only through the celebration of these important milestones that people can gain the confidence to keep climbing. They must be met at each of the base camps (each title in your company, etc.) by the experts to get the help, encouragement and the supplies they'll need to make it to the next base camp. Without this they'll quit climbing or worse yet hang out at one of the base camps and simply watch others pass them by. This not only brings down the rest of the team, but traps new people that would have climbed right on by. We need to keep moving people through the base camps. You see, you're not allowed to leave yours until another team is on its way into your camp. Why is this important? Well because as I mentioned I need the rest of my team to keep climbing. You see I now have a new vision. A new goal. It's to be the best damn mountain climber you've ever seen. Now when I look out over all those mountains I'm excited. I see life itself. If they weren't there I would simply live a pathetic existence, without the chance to improve or add value to the world and those around me. Folks, its all about learning to ENJOY THE CLIMB! Yes its very simple Because when you get here, we're gonna look out over all those mountains and - TOGETEHER - we're gonna pick the very biggest one we can find. We'll find a mountain that nobody's ever dreamed of climbing. One that others will once again think is impossible. And that's the one. That's the mountain we're taking next. Why? Because as expert climbers that will be the only one that will even remotely challenge you. If you'd like to join my team for the next climb go to http://chris.quickpros.biz Namaste, Chris Tinney www.MLMGorilla.com @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The Ten Web Page 'Commandments'       - by Jim Edwards (c) Jim Edwards - All Rights reserved http://www.thenetreporter.com ===================================== 'What makes a great web page?' People ask me this all the time, though they often encounter difficulty boiling the question down to so few words. Every serious website operator wants to know how to create and maintain the best possible website that makes them the most money and builds the largest subscriber base! The following 'commandments' represent the ideals towards which every new or existing website should strive. 1. Thou shalt have a Purpose Clearly define the site's purpose and ensure all content (pages, graphics and text) tightly focus on that purpose. Discard all extraneous material... only give people exactly what they came for! 2. Thou shalt be Lightweight Use only small, fast loading graphics. If you must use large graphics use thumbnails and image slicing to diminish the size of every file to less than 12-15kb. Use standard optimized gif's and jpg's and avoid anything that requires the user to download a 'plug-in' to view your content. 3. Thou shalt Load Fast Each and every page on your site should weigh in under 30-60KB total, including graphics and navigation. If your pages must be larger, such as the case with long, 1-page sales letters, make sure the top part of the page loads fast so surfers can read your headline and introduction while the rest of your sales letter loads further down and out of site. 4. Thou shalt not use False Code Use only html. Never use java, xml, dhtml or other forms of code that require a surfer to keep their browser set up 'correctly' to accommodate your page. This is especially true when using 'cloaked' pages that require the use of javascript in order to work correctly. 5. Thou shalt respect the Search Engines If you want search engine traffic, use whole web pages that don't incorporate frames. Search engines get confused trying to read content from most frames pages because the designers don't set them up with the proper information in the correct frame. 6. Love thy Surfers and Visitors Design for 'last year's' technology so surfers using 56K modems can download and use the site quickly and easily. If you design only for people with high-speed Internet connections (DSL and cable) you have eliminated 85%+ of your potential market. 7. Thou shalt not Annoy Use only stationary text and graphical layout elements. No Scrolling text, marquees, or animations of any kind, including rollover buttons. This 'eye candy' steals valuable bandwidth and adds little to a site's main purpose, especially for returning visitors who just want information, not a carnival sideshow. 8. Thou shalt Not Scroll Left or Right Design your pages so they never force a visitor to scroll left or right, no matter what the resolution settings on their monitor. Sites that read 'best viewed at 800 x 600' really say 'look at it my way because I don't care about y our preferences or limitations.' 9. Thou shalt stay Consistent Include a standard navigational structure on every page. Though it may mean a serious challenge for the designer, users should only need to click once to find every major section of a site. Also, this includes using standard link colors in all text links. Blue: hyperlink; Purple: visited hyperlink; Red: active hyperlink. 10. Thou shalt Know Thy Traffic Use a site-wide statistics program that enables you to determine what brings someone to the site, where they go once they arrive, and when and where they leave. This critical information helps with marketing efforts as well as identifying parts of the site that need tweaking or adjustment to help you increase sales. If everybody bails from your site at the same page, knowing this can help you change the page so people go from 'bail mode' to 'buy mode'! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Jim Edwards, author of numerous best-selling ebooks, earns thousands in affiliate commissions every month! Jim has developed 'Affiliate Link Cloaker,' the easy, FAST, safe way to STOP affiliate link 'hijackers'... Dead in their tracks! Click Here => http://www.affiliatelinkcloaker.com @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ (Editor's note:the following is by Chris Widener, Submitted by Robert Short) Greetings, "The scars you acquire while exercising courage will never make you feel inferior." D.A. Battista Courage. It is a word that conjures up images of great and dramatic actions. And yet I realize that we all have the opportunity to be courageous every day, in small and large ways. And it is when we choose to be courageous that we change our lives and the lives of those around us. Can you name anything of any significance that did not emanate from some sort of courageous decision? I can't.  Think of the changes that we have experienced in the last few decades and trace them back to their initial decision. Chances are, someone exhibited courage. So what is courage? It is simply acting on what we want to do, regardless of any fear we may have. It is the choice to disregard worry. It is the choice to do right, to pursue our dreams, to be successful people, to lead the way for others. Courage changes lives. Yes, it changes lives. First, the day you begin to stare down your fears and worries, and instead act courageously, your life will change. You will be set free to fly like you never have before. You will accomplish things you once only dreamed of. You will experience things you thought were only for others - the courageous ones. You will realize that your fears were baseless and just paper tigers, a mirage. You will begin to live your dreams. You will become a person of character! You will also change the lives of others. Simply put, courageous people pull others along with them. Everybody benefits from courageous people. I have a friend who I admire greatly. A little over a year ago he decided to leave a lucrative career and pursue a dream. All obstacles were thrown his way. The day he left his company, he found out that his wife had cancer. He went into a great deal of debt to finance his dream. He raised millions of dollars, putting his name and reputation on the line. He acted courageously. A year later, he has over fifty employees and growing monthly. Those employees are reaping the benefit of his courage! And his wife, who beat cancer, is acting courageously with him! Here are some quick tips for acting courageously: Know what you want. Courage is about choice. If you are to act courageously, you need to know what the right choice is.  Be clear about your dream and vision. Do not worry. I heard recently that worry is the wrong use of the imagination. That is perhaps the best definition I have ever heard. Worry is just thinking about all of the bad possibilities, isn't it? Well, courage is just thinking about all the great possibilities and then acting upon them! Do your homework. It helps to get the facts. It helps because then you can make an informed decision that will put your heart and mind to rest. There will probably be a downside but we understand it, choose alternatives, and act decisively instead of those. Act. There is no substitute for the first step. Do you know what you want? Have you thought of the possibilities? Have you done your homework? Then what are you waiting for? The next step is to take the first step, and ACT! With warm regards, Robert Short 562.209.1582 http://wedo.educate4wealth.com ***************************************************************** ***************************************** @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ===================== Attention advertisers: The Free Ad Board I promised you is now here for your convenience at CATLINES. Submit your ads at: http://www.freeadboard.com/?pro=470 ===================== Bring unheard of amounts of traffic to your site with 95% less effort! Come visit us for the real "down & dirty" about traffic generation and why you are missing out on the easiest system on the web to generate insane floods of traffic for the life of your site! Stop trying to generate steams of traffic! You can discover how to generate rivers, floods, and waterfalls of traffic that run for a lifetime in this report! http://www.power-linking-profits.com/swres/catly.html ===================== The Cat's Meow http://www.cafeshops.com/poofcat ===================== ============== Get more subscribers and advertisers for your ezine-FREE! Free directory listing includes: free ad in newsletter, free web page, affiliate program that earns you MORE free ads, site membership w/22 free ebooks to jumpstart your ebiz & more! Submit your ezine today! http://newz2me.com An EzineADventure AD. Click Below - Get Your FREE Ads NOW! http://www.ezineadventure.com/Default.asp?id=7701 ******* _____________________________________________________ ePublishing Master's Course We have uncovered ALL the SECRETS and WILL GIVE YOU 100% FULL support while helping YOU reach your FULL potential. NO frills, NO hype. ePublishing Master Consultants are paid DAILY! http://www.epublisheruniversity.com/oyesucan http://www.ezineadventure.com/Default.asp?id=7701 ******* TO FIND THE BEST DEALS YOU NEED THE BEST EZINES! Click this link, and you will check out a range of some of the biggest and the best ezines online today! http://www.itsaworld-of-ezines.com/t25.htm ...... We will also throw something in FREE for your time An EzineADventure AD. Click Below - Get Your FREE Ads NOW! http://www.ezineadventure.com/Default.asp?id=7701 ~~~~~~~ HUGE DISCOUNT ON MASTER RIGHTS The Ultimate Package of Resell Reprint Rights for BIG MONEY PRODUCTS - at a truly Unbelievable Price! Selling Quick, so Go NOW: http://www.ezineadventure.com/ResaleRights.html An EzineADventure AD. Click Below - Get Your FREE Ads NOW! http://www.ezineadventure.com/Default.asp?id=7701 ******* --------------------- 4: Look What The Cats Dragged In "I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul" I dont know who said this, my friend sent me the quote without an author. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ This feature (which also appears in newspapers) is mostly about the winning feline at the CFA International...but there are other mentions, one promoting CWA and another Kari Winters' http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/radio/more/mostbeautifulcat.html @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on Their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Steven Wright www.hays.com.au Christmas Tree Clipart http://www.christmastreeclipart.com/ Christmas Stockings http://www.christmas.tk/christmasstockings.html Christmas http://www.christmas.tk/ Christmas Cards http://groups.yahoo.com/group/christmascards/ Christmas Quotes http://www.christmasquotes.tk/ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Hi, Here are some cat quotes for you Margrit "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."- Unknown A cat isn't fussy - just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor. - - - Arthur Bridges "A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it." --Joseph Epstein When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her? -- Montaigne To reverse the bad luck curse of a black cat crossing your path, First walk in a circle, then go backward across the spot where it happened and count to 13. When moving to a new home, always put the cat through the window Instead of the door, so that it will not leave. - American superstition Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - - - Mary Bly How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk! The Cat Companion There is something about the pressence of a cat....that seems to Take the bite out of being alone   Louis J. Camuti THE CAT AS A COMPANION "One Cat Just Leads To Another"  -  Ernest Hemingway The Cat as Perfection The smallest feline is a masterpiece -- Leonardo Da Vinci "To kill a cat brings seventeen years of bad luck."    - Superstition from Ireland "Those who dislike cats will be carried to the cemetery in the rain."       - Superstition from Ireland and Holland "The smart cat doesn't let on that he is."     - St. George Mivart "In spite of the veneration which the Egyptians had for the cat, We are told that the punishment for adultery by a woman in Egypt was to be sewn into a sack with a live cat and flung into the Nile."   - Mildred Kirk "A cat allows you to sleep on the bed. On the edge."  - Jenny de Vries "To some blind souls all cats are much alike. To a cat lover Every cat from the beginning of time has been utterly and amazingly unique." - Jenny de Vries "Never try to outstubborn a cat."  - Lazarus Long "Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything."  - Hank Ketchum "There is no cat 'language.' Painful as it is for us to admit, They don't need one."   - Barbara Holland --You don't own your cat. The cats owns you. And the cat owns the house.  You just pay the mortgage. --A cat's favorite game is "Hah! Made you look!" --Traits we can't stand in people, we love and adore in cats. --COME TO ME:      God saw you getting tired      When a cure was not to be      So He closed His arms around you      And whispered, "Come to Me."      You didn't deserve what you went through      and so He gave you rest,      God's garden must be beautiful      He only takes the best.      And when we saw you sleeping      So peaceful and free from pain,      We could not wish you back      To suffer that again.     - Author Unknown "It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating friends, who give us just enough of their regard to make us hunger for more."  - Car Van Vechten "If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering, out-spoken, honest fellow - but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."   - Philip Gilbert Hamerton "The cat could very well be man's best friend, but he would Never stoop to admit it." - Doug Larson "He seems the incarnation of everything soft and silky and velvety, without a sharp edge in his composition, a dreamer whose philosophy is sleep and let sleep." - Saki A POEM:  "THE HIGH-TECH CAT" The modern world leaves me a wreck, But not my kitty--she's high tech! When snoozing she prefers to nap On my laptop, not my lap. For exercise and to relax She takes a stroll across the fax, Then leaps to land on the computer-- The narrow top seems built to suit her. She dusts the screen off with her tail While I'm reading my e-mail. When I'm sleeping peacefully She checks phone messages for me, Then looks at me as if to say, "Well, the button was marked PLAY." If she's feeling really bored She hits the button for record-- Words not for a stranger's ear Go on tape for all to hear. But as a self-respecting cat There's one gizmo she draws the line at. Of all the gadgets in the house There's one she'll never touch--the mouse! ----By Beverly Bardsley --"The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how They regard cats."  -  Anonymous "A cat has absolute honesty:  human beings for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not."    - Ernest Hemingway "There are people who reshape the world by force or argument, but the cat just lies there, dozing; and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience."    - Allen and Ivy Dodd "There is no 'cat language.'  Painful as it is for us to admit, They don't need one!" - Barbara Holland "The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how They regard cats."  - Anonymous "A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it."   - Henry David Thoreau "If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape, then a cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air."     - Doris Lessing "The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd Rather sleep on you than beside you." - Pam Brown "Life is hard.  Soften yours with a cat." - Unknown "A rose has thorns, a cat has claws; certainly both are worth The risk."  - Unknown "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should Relax and get used to the idea."          - Robert A. Heinlein ********** "If you want to know the character of a man, find out what his Cat thinks of him.   - Anonymous ********** "Every life should have nine cats.  - Anonymous ********** "Dogs eat. Cats dine."  - Ann Taylor ********** "A cat sees no good reason why it should obey another animal, even if it does stand on two legs."   - Sarah Thompson "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve the man, but deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain --Cats top everything! --Never talk to strangers or pick up hitchhikers, and    beware of scam artists.  But never worry about intentions    when you take in a homeless cat. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ===================== Free Website??? Read On! http://www.bizofchoice.com/pluginprofitsite.html Complete Money Making Site Setup FREE Launch your very own money making website today that's 100% ready to take orders and pull in MASSIVE PROFITS for you right now... GUARANTEED. Plus, you'll get your own pre-written  ezine-in-a-box customized and setup for you absolutely free WITHIN 24 HOURS. Stone Evans did our new website and it's great! http://www.bizofchoice.com (Slightly different from the above url; check both thoroughly; so many great choices just for you!) --------------------- Over 1,000+ PAGES of the Hottest, Proven Profitable Internet Business Secrets Broken Down Into An EASY-TO-DUPLICATE System. Corey Rudl is the owner of four highly successful online businesses that attract more than 6 million visitors and generate over $5.2 million each year. He is also the author of the #1 best-selling Internet Marketing course online. To check out his site that's jam-packed with THE EXACT INFORMATION YOU NEED to start, build, and grow your very own, profitable Internet business, I highly recommend visiting: http://www.marketingtips.com/t.cgi/790902 This guy really knows what he's talking about! --------------------- MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW   REMEMBER to help provide for the kitties   --yours and ours-- by visiting our sponsors!   Thanks. MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW --------------------- ===================== OptinCity - The Ultimate Publisher's Resource Home to the hottest prices on quality subscribers, and discounted publisher resources. It's free to join, and thousands of high quality subscribers are given away every month to our members just for being a member. http://optincity.com/p/?i=278 ===================== ATTENTION !! YOU MUST READ THIS WORD FOR WORD ! This is Information that you may not receive from anyone else, so PLEASE take it SERIOUSLY !! Let us share with you an income stream that is unlike ANYTHING you have seen before NO HYPE - NO FALSE PREDICTIONS!! Ground Floor - Top Positioning Duplicable - Hands Off System That Does Everything for YOU! The FASTEST WAY to start earning a LIFE CHANGING INCOME TODAY -NOT MONTHS FROM NOW Get this FREE INFORMATION: Make an Educated Decision !! We GUARANTEE you'll be THANKFUL you DID ! http://catly.enliveninternational.com ===================== 5: from Outside the catbox Hi, especially to our new readers.  I have been receiving emails from subscribers that say "ad for CATLINES" in the subject and then a blank message.  Excuse me, I cannot place an ad unless you send it, however, please read above regarding our free ad board where free ads may be placed. I was receiving too many ads that sounded scammy or spammy to me and the cats and they didn't pass our standards.  (Gabrielle is particularly picky in what is good dumpster material, which make good toys, wherever they come from, and which are those to pass on to me.)  Thanks. BIZLINES does publish all free ads sent in to those who are subscribed, therefore, joining both of our ezines might be of great help to you.  Thanks. LM ******* I want to thank those of you who have sent in such catly writings, home-business articles and your having been so willing to share them! Keep sending them in! PURRingly, LM ==================== 6: subscription info and other strays a catly site! The CATLINES MEWsletter is a member of the Ezineville Club @ Village of Tidbits. To become a free member visit Ezineville Club @ http://www.villageoftidbits.com --------------------- >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< CATLINES is now a member of the IPEA http://www.InternationalePublishersAssociation.com _________________________________________________________ CATLINES is published by Lauren Merryfield co-owner of catliness.com. We are proud members of the International Council of Online Professionals (I-cop) http://i-cop.org/cgi-bin/mem/jl.pl?1060 ======================== Please rate this Ezine at the Cumuli Ezine Finder http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/ra22526.rate ===================== Sub and unsub info: You may subscribe or unsubscribe to the CATLINES MEWsletter by going to our website: http://www.catliness.com (much easier now!) To submit catly writings for possible publication, mailto:infoRus@catliness.com?subject=catlines-submit For feedback, questions or suggestions: mailto:infoRus@catliness.com?subject=catlines-feedback --------------------------- Copyright © 2003 by Lauren Merryfield, http://www.catliness.com >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< Click Here For Newsletter Advertising Opportunities