Welcome to CATLINES, the  MEWsletter! For cat-lovers and "biz-kittens"--home-business newbies/workers --------------------- Celebrate homeless cat day August *17th* by adopting a cat!!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ REMEMBER to help provide for the kitties--yours and ours-- by visiting our sponsors!  Thanks. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ********************** Proud Members: This ezine is listed at Ezine Publishers Association Inc.  (EPAI) Join Free At: http://www.EzinePublisher.org ********************** >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< CATLINES vol. 1, Issue 6, August 15, 2002 Published monthly by http://www.catliness.com hosted by Jeff at: http://www.hookedonthe.net Editor: Lauren Merryfield, Ph.d. =======>^..^<===== --------------------- If you are receiving this newsletter, either you subscribed recently or received a copy from a friend.  Thank you for joining and accepting our catly ezine, ads and other notices from catliness.com! >^..^<     >^..^<     >^..^< (3 kitty heads, representing Jaspur, Mikey and Gabrielle, suPURRvisors and helPURRs in these adventures into catliness.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (From my CashEvolution sponsor) WE MUST SECURE OUR RETIREMENT FOR OURSELVES! For this reason alone, CASH Evolution is a remarkable opportunity.  But, there are many other reasons that make this the most attractive new program ever devised! [1] The monthly fee is ONLY $25 a month, the price of a family pizza. [2] You ONLY need three! With just 3 referrals your membership fee is self-funding.  And, these need not be 'Personal' referrals! You get credit for them even if they are "Spilled" down to you from your upline. [3] Realistically earn $1,500 a month RESIDUAL income after your 3rd level, of this 5X5 "FORCED" matrix, is filled. (Internet Marketing Giant Mark Joyner, our upline Sponsor and owner of Aesop, Roibot, StartBlaze, and many other Huge Corporations, has just taken on CASHevolution as his pet project and is expected to recruit Hundreds of Thousands of new members to be spilled into our downlines.) [4] The ability to earn up to $9,000 a month RESIDUAL income. [5] 100% payout of membership fees! CASHevolution pays 100% of it's membership fees back to it's members through the five levels of this 5X5 FORCED matrix. [6] Paid-out is more than paid-in.  Not only do they pay back 100% of the membership fees, 10% of the commissions from levels 3-5 are reinvested in mutual funds, stocks, bonds,etc. So, in essence, what you have here is a self funding 401(k)!!! [7] Free Offshore Account even if you cancel your membership!   CASHevolution banks with a UK controlled Bank located in the West Indies and is FDIC Insured. JOIN OUR TEAM NOW TO SECURE THE BEST SPOT TO SECURE YOUR FUTURE! http://catly.cashevolution.com ===================== >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< And now! ... 3cats present... THE CATLINES MEWSLETTER ===================== Hi, Troy McDonald here (moderator of the Ezine Ad Swap List). Here is my big announcement: SubscriptionRocket.com is finally "live" and running as of today (Tuesday, August 13, 2002.) Get your account open today and start earning subscribers to your e-zine. Follow these steps to make sure your account is running properly: 1. Register and confirm your account. 2. Add your unique HTML to your web page(s). 3. Edit your e-zine title and description. 3a. Choose the category of your e-zine. 4. Tell the system where to send your new subscribers. It's easy and only takes a few minutes... Make sure you see the viral marketing built into the system. (It gets your e-zine more and more exposure with no effort on your part.) This is just the beginning as there is more to come. Register now: http://www.subscriptionrocket.com/cgi-bin/r.cgi?r=101 Troy McDonald SubscriptionRocket.com Administrator ===================== Table of contents:  1: mewsings from the food bowl (editorial)  2: Kitten Kabootle's Kubbyhole (catly writings)  3: kibble nibble (funny definitions or word scrambles)  4: biz-kittens' busy box (newbie work-at-home or general biz articles)  5: look what the cat dragged in (jokes, quotes, very brief verse)  6: from Outside the catbox (questions, comments from readers) --------------------- BE SURE TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO SUBSCRIBE TO CATLINES!!! SEND THEM TO: http://www.catliness.com or (this is new! please make a note!) To subscribe to catlines, via email, put the word subscribe in either the subject or body of an email message and send it to: mailto:catlines-request@catliness.com --------------------- 1: mewsings from the food bowl (editorial) Happy dog days of summer to you!  Hope all of you catlovers and "biz-kittens" have had a wonderful summer, whether you've been learning to work at home--where the cats are--or just cattin' around. You may have noticed a few changes in Issue 6 of our catly ezine. 1:Slightly new name; CATLINES, rather than The CATLINES MEWSletter.  This was our original title, plus, it gives us listings iunder C, where the cats are! 2:During late August/early September, our website, catliness.com, was moved, by our host, to a new server.  This was expected to be a smooth transfer, however, since A:I am not all that techy yet and B:my husband, who is more techy, was in the hospital, unable to assist with the transfer.  This transfer has given you a slightly different way to subscribe or unsubscribe via email, (notice above and below), yet the signup is the same through the website, http://www.catliness.com . 3:In the raggedy transfer, our subscription list was lost fro the old server, therefore, I manually resubscribed those of you who have been members from the beginning of this ezine, last spring.  I discovered, much to my dismay, that many addresses came back as undeliverable.  Perhaps I have not been informed of a change of email address, or perhaps someone's ISP has decided that our catly little morsel is spam.  *CATLINES is an opt-in ezine, therefore, any emails from catliness.com are legitimate. If someone cries spam, and our ezine is disrupted by this, or our reputation is damaged, I will be forced to file a complaint.  Please let's keep this a friendly, catloving group and allow us to come visit your, through your mailbox.  A big Thanks! Lauren Merryfield --------------------- Buy the same types of products you normally buy, only switch to *our* store; items shipped to your door! mailto:catly@iglide.net?subject=moreinfo ----------------- 2: Kitten Kabootle's Kubbyhole (catly writings) A Stubborn Case Of Murphy's Law by Lauren Merryfield We have experienced all kinds of illness, even the death of a childhood friend, all in about one week, which is totally mind-boggling.  The cats know things have been rough around here.  Go away, Mr. Murphy!! My left ear, which has been problematic since childhood, needs to shape up in less than to weeks or it's tube time!  In my middle age?  Hmmmm. Painful fluid build-up!  Good riddance, Mr. Murphy! Our daughter, a Senior in college, became very ill with a urinary tract infection and upper respiratory infection simultaneously!  First time she's had a fever for years!  Within another week, her boyfriend of three years broke up with her.  Guess he's looking for Pollyanna.  Bug off, MS. Murphy! My husband was diagnosed with a mean, nasty virus and was hospitalized for a couple days, with something to look forward to--two rounds of IV antibiotics daily, every twelve hours, for about 20 days!  He is allowed to do this as an outpatient but it took literally *hours*, after he was discharged,  to get the insurance paperwork all figured out. The very next week, he hit the back of his hand on who knows what, bringing about an infection and a torn tendon!  Ouch!   Even the cats agree all of this is not at all aMEWSing! A schoolhood friend of mine that I've known since she was four years old, went to the human equivalent of Rainbow Bridge on Tuesday, August 13th after years of a power struggle with cancer.  Her husband and 13-year-old daughter will carry on. I was too far away from my original home, and too much needed here,  to be present at the memorial service, which is just too sad!  Don't make me cry, you of the unyielding M. Law!!! And then to the feline arena, we had Gabbie tested again, since she gave us the Pee Sign again, on a damp bathmat.  It turns out she didn't have blood in her urine.  Her total bilirubin was way up; gallbladder problems. Liver is fine. The pharmacies near us only had the human doasage which was too large and too much for a little kittycat, but the vet's pharmacy had a suspension for cats--tuna-flavored!  Gabrielle gets her "tuna juice" twice a day for a month. This was not at first good news, as re remembered the recent battles with Gabbie and the pink stuff.  We needed to change our plan. Plan?  With cats? We began by capturing her, one of us holding her, the other shooting the tuna juice in her forced-open mouth. Sound familiar?   This was not any more workable than before. What is that definition of insanity?  ... Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. We soon discovered that we didn't need to pick her up, just corner her, ask her to open her mouth (which she did)   and squirt!  We noticed her licking what missed  her mouth which brought up plan C. (Well, somewhere between plan C and Plan Z). We squirted the tuna juice into a small bowl, set it down near Gabbie, and corraled the other two cats.  This worked great for Gabbie while unimpressing Jaspur and Mikey. And then came Jim's hospitalization.  Now it was up to me, totally!  Not so. It was up to me and the cats.  Would they cooperate or not? Not only did Gabrielle begin begging for her tuna juice right on time (how do they do it?) but the other two sat there, watching, like they finally understood two things. 1: If we don't bother her she'll get done sooner, and 2:If we don't bother her, we won't be shut up in another room.  Wow! Smart cats, huh? Scat, Murphy Cat! And now, back to the human world, they're talking about a "work stoppage" on August 30th, for baseball! (Well, thank goodness this was avoided.) Boo, hiss!  Instead of Go Mariners it could have been No Mariners!  Maybe Murphy's Law  needs a "stoppage" of some kind.  ************** Lauren has written about cats since she was in grade-school.  She is a member of the Cat Writers' Association, and has contributed human and animal-interest articles to several publications.  Read more at: http://www.catliness.com ************** @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ (It is quite possible that many of the "author unknown" catly writings are those of Mark Mason at: http://www.catdiary.com ) @@@@@@@ --TEENAGERS AND CATS - ANY SIMILARITIES? If you live or have ever lived under the same roof with teenagers, and you also have cats, then you may be able to see a lot of the same characteristics in their behaviors. See what I mean with these observations: --1.  Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when       you call them by name. --2.  No matter what you do for them, it is not enough.       Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate       to compensate for the privilege of waiting on       them hand and foot. --3.  You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house       with an adult human being, and it can be safely       said that no teenager in his or her right mind       wants to be seen in public with his or her parents. --4.  Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, (or another       well-known jokester) neither your cat nor your teen       will ever crack a smile. --5.  No cat or teenager shares your taste in music. --6.  Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa       for hours on end without moving, barely breathing. --7. Cats have nine lives.  Teenagers carry on as if      they did. --8.  Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,       communicating that ultimate human ecstasy...  a       sense of complete and utter boredom. --9.  Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's       furniture. --10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have       been known to return in the middle of the night to       deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers       are not above that sort of behavior. --Author unknown to us; contributed by: ~Iva~ COME VISIT OUR GROUP COMMUNITY PAGE AT: http://community.webshots.com/user/thecatloversclub SEE MY FAVE PHOTOS: http://photos.yahoo.com/ctsmeow2000 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Cat Bathing As A Martial Art (typos corrected) Some people say cats never have to be bathed.  They say cats lick themselves clean.  They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk - dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.  I've spent most of my life believing this folklore.  Like most believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, in spite of the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.  The time comes, however, when a man (or woman) must face reality: when he/(she) must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez." When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub: Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower.  (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.) Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket. Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)  If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product testing experiment for J.C. Penney.) Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.) Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better. --author unknown to us. ---------------------- Local phone service is coming to the whole country; save money; from a company who is not soon calling it quits! http://www.globalsuccess2000.com/catly Excel is bringing local service to you!  Check it out now! --------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3: kibble nibble (funny definitions or word scrambles) This month, we have one of the funniest PURRformances ever to be! Punk kitties sing "Clean the catbox" http://www.lolfun.com/flash_0902/punk_kittens.cfm http://www.lolfun.com/flash_0902/punk_kittens.cfm AOL Links --contributed by the catlovers club, author unknown to us. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Business? Need sales? Don't have lots of $$$? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maybe I can help you? I really care about your success! Come on, Get on Top Down Under at http://EvieB.com Two Free ads/week to 24,400+ Marketers sound good? --------------------- http://www.fatcattraffic.com/cgi-bin/fc/display.cgi/LM15603/index.htm to bring more traffic to your website.  Join us and sit with the "fat cats!" --------------------- ePublishing Master's Course We have uncovered ALL the SECRETS and WILL GIVE YOU 100% FULL support while helping YOU reach your FULL potential.  NO frills, NO hype. ePublishing Master Consultants are paid DAILY! http://www.epublisheruniversity.com/oyesucan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ============== 4: biz-kittens' busy box (newbie work-at-home or general biz articles) Information Constipation Written by: Myrtis Smith Author's Web Site: www.premeditatedlife.com If you've been in the process of starting a business (or thinking about starting a business) for more than 6 months, but you haven't made any progress, you may be suffering from Information Constipation. Information Constipation is a dreadful disease that strikes over analytical people, procrastinators, and the fearful. People have so much information that they are paralyzed and unable to act. The condition is generally marked by an elongated period called "research". Some people refer to this period as "getting ready", "information gathering", or "preparation". The main symptom is several months (or years) spent checking out a business opportunity in lieu of actually pursuing it. People generally suffer from a feeling that they don't have enough information or they aren't very knowledgeable about the subject and hence they are unable to move forward. This is quite often to the contrary because they have spent so much time gathering information that they are now more "book smart" about their potential business than many people who have a successful business up and running. There is really only one known cure for Information Constipation and that is (in the famous words of Nike): Just Do it! You will never have all of the information you need. You will never know everything there is to know . Not to mention, a little fear and apprehension is normal and healthy. So if you or someone you know is suffering from Information Constipation get them to the nearest coach, friend or motivator so that they can get a much needed push to make their idea a reality. ======================================================== © Copyright 2002 All Rights Reserved.  Myrtis Smith is a personal coach. She gets people to stop hating their jobs. To see how she might be able to help you, sign up for her free newsletter (Change Now!) or visit her on the web at www.premeditatedlife.com .......because life doesn't just happen! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   The Procrastinator's Creed I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries and a reprieve from my obligations. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step and/or write the first word, when I get around to it. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever. --author unknown to us; we'll find out...some day! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FREE GLOBAL ONLINE BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY! Free sign-up.  Free website.  Great products at great prices.  Long term residual income. Click here --> http://cognigen.net/bizop/?lfw --------------------- * Sues freebies * Best and Newest freebie finds online!! Free product samples, coupons, rebates and much more!! http://suesfreebies.com or send a blank email to suesfreebies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com --------------------- Best Biz Opp 4 ALL, No Hype Here. Finally, the opportunity to build a residual income without recruiting or selling?? Yes it can and is happening. Get your info NOW! mailto:bestbizz4u@GetResponse.com ***************************************** 5: look what the cat dragged in (jokes, quotes, very brief verse) Q: How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters? A: C-A-T!  :-) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "A dog desires more affection than his dinner. - Well-almost" - Charlotte Gray "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@    "A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat." - George Mikes ********* HIRE LIBERTY MANAGEMENT TO BUILD YOUR DOWNLINE! http://www.libertyprofit.com/catly TIRED OF RECRUITING... TIRED OF SELLING? (Or Just Don't Know How?) HIRE LIBERTY! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you would like to learn the secrets of ordinary people earning extra ordinary income send my assistant an e-mail at: reecekaye@FindFreedom.com. Thanks -------------------- 1. Your name.   Jerry Buchs 2. Your e-zine name.   Make More Money News 3. Your Target audience. (The type audience your e-zine reaches.)   Entrepreneurs, home-based business owners, opportunity seekers, Internet marketers 4. Number of subscribers your e-zine has.   3625 5. The dates you publish your e-zine. (Example: daily, weekly, monthly, 1st, 15th, etc.)   Daily 6. Your e-zine's web site address. http://www.makemoremoneynow.com 7. Type of swap you are looking for. (Example: Martial arts related e-zines, marketing related e-zines, etc.) Business and marketing-related 8. Do you accept articles for your e-zine? (If "YES", just add the e-mail address where people should send their articles to.) mailto:webmaster@makemoremoneynow.com --------------------- ===== Get HookedOnThe.Net with affordable, professional web hosting and design. We offer a range of hosting packages on both Unix and NT servers, plus domain registration and even web design.  We offer everything you need for your web presence.  Get all the details at: http://www.HookedOnThe.Net/ ===================== --------------------- 6: from Outside the catbox (questions, comments from readers) I want to thank those of you who have sent in such catly writings and have been so willing to share them! PURRingly, LM --------------------- ===================== Get more subscribers and advertisers for your ezine-FREE! 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Click this link, and you will check out a range of some of the biggest and the best ezines online today! http://www.itsaworld-of-ezines.com/t25.htm ......We will also throw something in FREE for your time An EzineADventure AD. Click Below - Get Your FREE Ads NOW! http://www.ezineadventure.com/Default.asp?id=7701 @@@@@@@ HUGE DISCOUNT ON MASTER RIGHTS The Ultimate Package of Resell Reprint Rights for BIG MONEY PRODUCTS - at a truly Unbelievable Price! Selling Quick, so Go NOW: http://www.ezineadventure.com/ResaleRights.html An EzineADventure AD. Click Below - Get Your FREE Ads NOW! http://www.ezineadventure.com/Default.asp?id=7701 ---------------------- a catly site! The CATLINES MEWsletter is a member of the Ezineville Club @ Village of Tidbits. To become a free member visit Ezineville Club @ http://www.villageoftidbits.com --------------------- >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< --------------------------- the CATLINES MEWsletter is published by Lauren Merryfield, Ph.D., co-owner of catliness.com. We are proud members of the International Council of Online Professionals (I-cop) http://i-cop.org/cgi-bin/mem/jl.pl?1060 ======================== Sub and unsub info: You may subscribe or unsubscribe to the CATLINES MEWsletter by going to our website: http://www.catliness.com or (this is new! please make a note!) To subscribe to catlines, via email, put the word subscribe in either the subject or body of an email message and send it to: mailto:catlines-request@catliness.com ---------------------------- To submit catly writings for possible publication, mailto:infoRus@catliness.com?subject=catlines-submit For feedback, questions or suggestions: mailto:infoRus@catliness.com?subject=catlines-feedback To submit ads (currently free until you are notified otherwise) mailto:infoRus@catliness.com?subject=catlines-adsubmit --------------------------- Copyright © August 15, 2002 by Lauren Merryfield, Ph.D. http://www.catliness.com >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< Click Here For Newsletter Advertising Opportunities